Relationship Analysis: Serendipity

*Serendipity was a movie about the couple who tried to test fate and find out if it was true. They stringed along their best friends and tried to find each other even when they’re both engaged to be married.

How did the characters meet?

The couple met when they picked the last one pair of gloves in the New York Department store five days before Christmas. A third guy almost bought the gloves, but Jon and Sara pretended to be together and that he was going to buy the gloves for her. In the end, Jon gave Sara the gloves and she treated him desserts in return, to the patisserie called Serendipity.

How the characters in the movie are attracted to each other?

sara

Sara made an impression to Jon, he was willing to get her number, but Sara didn’t agree. They met again moments later back in Serendipity when Jon realized he forgot his scarf and Sara forgot the gloves.

Jon was impressed by Sara’s fierceness, being quick on her feet, witty, attractive, and they had a moment when she returned his scarf by putting it around his neck. He invited her to do something.

jonWhile skating, they asked each other random questions. At this time, Jon somehow made an impression on Sara too with his persistence, his sense of humour and she was flattered as he told her that his one favourite New York moment is now as he skates with her, he helped her patched her wound after she slipped on the skating rink, and they had another moment when he shared the story of Queen Cassiopeia then he pointed the Cassiopeia constellation at the sky and drew the constellation in her arm. He ended it with a kiss in her wound.

Later, she gave him his number, and he told her to let fate run its course. Then the test of fate begun.

Is it *love at first sight or *lust at first sight

It could have been love at first sight. They fell for each other the moment they spent time skating and when they told each other things that meant something to them. After all, it is possible to fall in love with someone in 90 minutes or less as long they made an impression on each other. It started out as an attraction, and when they got the chance to get to know each other in little ways, the connection between them happened. They clicked together.

Was there *chemistry between the couple?

Chemistry is usually automatic and at times you can create it. In the movie, out of the *eight types of chemistry

*Romantic chemistry happened when Sara and Jon started talking about fate and destiny in the Serendipity patisserie.

*Emotional chemistry happened when Sara and Jon were sharing information about each other when they were skating and when he helped her with her wound beside the skating rink.

*Activity chemistry happened when Jon and Sara ate at the patisserie, skated, and when they tried to act foolishly in the elevator. Doing something silly and new with someone you don’t know, triggers the release of *endorphins in the brain, and also the feeling of *novelty.

What is the man’s *lovemap? Is it a healthy lovemap or not?

halleyJon has a healthy lovemap. It was shown when he got into a relationship with Halley, who somehow was a good influence on him and his studies.

At first, you wouldn’t think it was a healthy lovemap. He’s got the almost perfect fiancée and he was still rooting to find Sara.

deanHis lovemap was also influenced by his best friend, Dean, he writes for the obituary. He served as the voice of reason to Jon. At the start of the movie, he pointed out, why risked his relationship with Halley compared to a woman he doesn’t know.

It was tricky, in the middle of the movie, Dean eventually told Jon that his wife moved out and the reason was that their relationship died because it didn’t have enough foolishness. He cheered on Jon trying to find Sara cause he admired his foolishness. He shared the quote from the philosopher Epictitus, If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.

Later in the movie, they mistook the woman to be Sara. Dean concluded, that maybe they were lying on the grass because he didn’t want to be standing somewhere else. Jon was supposed to get married the next day. It was an epiphany for Jon and his friend. The adventure to find Sara wasn’t really about finding Sara, it was for him to realize, that the logical choice was to marry Halley, but his heart wasn’t in it.

What is the woman’s lovemap? Is it a healthy lovemap or not?

patient
Sara has a healthy lovemap as proven by her advice to her patient that believing in fate or destiny stops us from doing the real work and that there are many people he could easily find and be happy with.

shrinkingI started to question her lovemap after seeing her relationship with her fiancé Lars. He was too busy to have time for her and when he told her to don’t fall apart for him. Despite the fact, that Sara just told him, she was losing her mind with everything that’s happening: her patients, her wedding, her honeymoon and his tour for his album.

Her lovemap was also influenced by her best friend Eve, who owns a New Age store. Eve forced Sara to make sense of things all throughout the trip as they look for Jon. She insisted that Lars is Mr. Good enough and stop looking for the mystery guy. She pointed out that Sara got a fiancé who loves her very much.

eveEve’s best speech so far is that:

It’s a wonderful thought. The idea that all of life, that every single event is part of some master plan designed to lead us to our universal soul mate. If that’s really true, then what’s the point of living? Of making decisions?

You make mistakes, and if you’re smart enough, you learn from your mistakes. You figure it out. You think.

Life’s a mess. It’s chaos personified.

It’s not giving up. It’s growing up.

LarsLars went to New York to spend time with Sara. During their trip Lars got a call and Sara ended up at the Skating rink. Sara also realized that even Lars loves her, they don’t have a healthy relationship cause Lars don’t have enough time for her which led them to break up for good.

At the last minute, Sara found the dollar bill with Jon’s contact information in Eve’s wallet, which made her stay in New York. For a moment, Sara thought she lost Jon too.

In the end, Eve told her to stop looking for Jon and just feel him in the air.

Does the relationship contribute to the growth of each person in the relationship? 

It’s possible for the relationship to work out basing it on Sara’s job as a shrink. She believed in fate and destiny, but her experience in life and her experience at work somehow lessened it and she learned how to be open minded by focusing on what needs to be done and the real work.

Sara made Jon questioned his belief regarding fate or destiny. Throughout the movie, after she tested him, the audience were under the impression that even if Jon was already with Halley, he was hopeful in trying to find Sara’s information in each Love In The Time of Cholera book.

At the end of the movie, Jon believed that life is a tapestry of events that culminate in a sublime plan. In the relationship, that belief can be a motivation for the couple to believe to wait for the situation to pan out and trust faith.

In this movie, I believe that it’s important to use your head, but you can’t lose faith and you need to trust your instinct.

Do the personalities balance each other, complete each other, or makes them a good team? 

I believe that there is a possibility of them being a good team when they tried to defend the gloves they were trying to buy. It was a team effort. We saw how they tried to help each other, finishing each other’s story.

I didn’t have a firm grasp of Sara’s and Jon’s personality, but in the relationship, she could be the voice of reason and she could also believe in fate and destiny.

Sara somehow made Jon believed about fate and destiny, but after losing his fiancée and Sara, he believed that everything happens for a reason.

They could balance each other as long as they don’t focus much on the idea of soul mates, fate and destiny and focused instead on making their relationship work.

Aside from the devotion they have to find each other after all these years, I couldn’t say for certain what other specific qualities they have to balance each other and make each other feel complete.

Are they capable of maintaining a long-lasting relationship? 

Sara and Jon could maintain a long-lasting relationship as long as they stay fond of each other, and they would continue to work on making the relationship last.

Since Sara is a shrink, I could see her establishing regular communication with Jon and making sure to spend quality time with him based on her experience with Lars.

I could see Jon, making an effort to make things work with Sara to avoid what happened to Dean’s relationship with Courtney.

Why the relationship will work or last longer? 

The relationship will last because they want each other and they could relate to each other.

I don’t know if it’s going to last longer, relationship that last long are couples who are used to each other for years or so. It’s not really about the length, but it’s about the depth and meaning of the relationship, growth and transformation that they’ve brought into each other’s life, and the things they’ve taught each other.

In the movie, I didn’t really see enough trials in the movie to predict the outcome of the relationship. What we only saw in the movie was two people who were already involved with someone, but still felt as if something was missing. It was a movie with a couple who’s got a strong chemistry.

Why the relationship won’t work or last longer? 

Basing it on Jon’s relationship with Halley, he loved her, but he doesn’t love her enough.

Basing it on Sara’s relationship with Lars, a relationship might not work, if both of you were not giving enough effort to make the relationship. They were engaged, but Sara was trying to find another guy and Lars was too focused on his career.

Sara and Jon’s relationship might not last if they get too distracted with each other due to too much chemistry. Other aspects of their life, such as their career might suffer.

If the chemistry, died down, they might feel it’s just chemistry. They don’t really know each other, they don’t have much anything in common that would keep them together.

What needs to be improved to make the relationship work and last longer?

If this is a real relationship, Sara and Jon needs to balance the chemistry in their relationship, when the chemistry is tamed, traits and qualities they don’t like about each other will stand up and it could get them closer or pull them apart. They need to accept their differences and learn how to compromise and love each other in their own way.

How lovemap plays in the couples’ lives?

Unfortunately, I believe that this relationship is ruled by chemistry.  I didn’t get to see, observe and experience any factor that would explain why and how they would fit each other’s lovemap.

There were no patterns to indicate their past relationships and experiences prepared Sara and Jon to be fated or destined.

It was a fun, silly and entertaining movie but in real life, people live in a rational and pragmatic world. Where in relationships you will rarely see them choose the perfect stranger over the logical choice.

There are brave and open-minded people who were lucky to find their lovemap and they would always trump quantity over quality. They would risk losing the logical choice over the perfect stranger because they found more meaning, growth, depth, and transformation in the brief time they’ve spent with them.

A relationship that is not just based on chemistry, love at first sight, lust at first sight, and best friends who became lovers, but a relationship that is so much more, so much bigger than chemistry, love at first or being best friends who became lovers.

Watching the movie is fun, it would also be fun and silly to test faith the way they did, but the results would definitely be different and more complicated in real life.

*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK.

10 thoughts on “Relationship Analysis: Serendipity

  1. I love your Love Map approach to bringing reality to fantasies. I love to fantasize and I love a good “feel good” romance story. Yet, I want my real life relationship to be based on reality rather than the dream.

    Some of the movies I watch, I watch for the moment of tears that dim my eyes, the part that brings forth my passion, and/or the part that anticipates. I really don’t want to see a sequel or even know how it works out. I just want the emotion touching moments. I see an action packed movie as the thrill of living an adventure and I see a romance movie as an emotion packed event and as the thrill of living passion, disappointment, joy, and all those touching parts.

    I sometimes think about how different things would have been if I hadn’t avoided potential situations in the past. Had I given in to Priscilla’s temptatious invitation as a Freshman in High School, my whole life could have taken a detour that likely would not have been best for either of us.

    I wonder, too, if not giving into dreams would doom one to a practical life over a romantic one. How much dream and fantasy can one blend into their reality?

    Anyway, I love the path I eventually chose though I did not choose everything purposely. I did manage to avoid some major pitfalls along the way; but I wonder how much worked well because of my resolve rather than just stepping out on love alone.

    What I love best about your writings is that they make me think and weigh things that I haven’t really looked into. I need to watch the movie again (been a long time ago) and then read your blog a second time. 🙂
    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for reading and I’m glad it resonated with you.
      To be honest, I grew up as a hopeless romantic who vicariously lived by watching romantic movies, TV series and reading romantic stories.
      Well, I grew up and found out that I love learning, analyzing how things work. I experienced love and hurt a couple of times. The last time I fell in love was a different experience because I also stumbled on the idea of lovemap. It changed all my false beliefs and I realized they all came from those movies, TV series and romantic stories. I realized that some people stick to creating those stories on screen or on paper because people use it a way of escaping reality. The only problem here is some people take what they see on screen and on paper as facts. So they always set themselves on a heart break due to too high and unrealistic expectations and preferences.
      My idea of love and relationships now is much clearer and deeper. I started this blog to educate people how lovemap works, how it affects our lives, and also the other important factors that affect relationships.
      I’ve also wondered many times if I chose differently. I made choices, and there are some paths that I followed, but I decided I wouldn’t change anything. Those bad and good experiences happened for a reason, and those experiences helped shaped the kind of person I am now. I am a much better person than I used to be.
      Don’t focus on the “what-ifs” of your life, rather focus on the good things in your life. Everything truly happens for a reason. If you have questions, eventually, I’m sure those answers will come to you and it will blow your mind in a good way.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Great points! Love it.
        Yes, fantasy romance is great as portrayed in movies; but one should base their relationship on reality rather than fantasy because fantasy is not enough in itself to sustain the relationship.
        It is great to have some fantasy, that is magic moments and feelings, in the relationship; but life is real and not a dream. Smoke and mirrors are fun; realistic structure holds it together.
        The best of two worlds is to treasure the heart felt magic moments within a true foundation.
        Watch the movies vicariously; but do not implant the fantasy in the movie in your real life if that fantasy is “just lifted and carried over” because it “feels good” but has not really happened.
        There is a tension, though. If you really, deeply fall for another, and that one falls for you; the love will go a long way to overcoming obstacles. But both of you have to really want the relationship. I think a relationship without love and without magic moments can survive; but where’s the fun in that? I think that a relationship with magic moments but with incompatibility issues or one with magic moments that are contrived or one that tries to make the magic moments the cement, will end up hurting both you and the other person involved.
        Forgive me if I ramble. I am a deep thinker and often I think too much! 😀
        Keep on writing! I will stop by often to see how you play out these romances. Deep inside, I am a romantic.
        I will have to check your Blog to see if you have done “Jerry Maguire” or “A Walk to Remember”.

        Like

        • You have great points too.
          It’s true that in a relationship, magic and fantasy should be there too, but the couple should have realistic expectations from each other and accept each other as who they are and not try to mold their personality into something they imagined them to be.
          I haven’t done A Walk To Remember and Jerry Maguire, but they’re one of my favorites. So I will do them.
          As of them, I want to first finish blogging the different factors that are important in a relationship.
          I’m already done with Chemistry, Compatibility, I have yet to finish my post about Intimacy, then write about Friendship, Trust, and Familiarity. Of course, I’m still considering other topics like the Personality, and Honesty too.
          They are all important in a relationship.

          Thank you visiting my blog, I’ll surely visit yours. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

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  4. I remember watching this film years ago and thinking “so romantic and so NYC”. After reading your blog and thinking about it I have to say that you’re right. The film is more like a romantic daydream than a real relationship.

    Real relationships experience tough places where commitment plays a big part of staying the course. Based on Jon’s treatment of Halley, I would say there is a good chance he would get bored with Sara.

    Too bad there wasn’t a sequel so we could find out what happened.

    Liked by 1 person

    • If there’s a sequel, they may be divorced already or if they’re not divorce, they’re one of those couples who fought a lot because of differences that annoyed them to death, which used to magnetize them to be together.

      Like

  5. It’s a great idea using relationships on film as examples for how a love map works. Even though they are fictional, everyone can “view” them. Interesting read. 🙂

    I remember seeing this movie. It was annoying how they hid the number in the book. Yeah, that’s gonna work.

    Like

    • Thank you for your comment. I enjoyed watching this movie, but after analysing the possibility of a relationship here, it sort of killed the magic for me. I’ll never look at it, the same way as before.

      Not that I’m cynical. The magic of love is not in the definition. I believe it still lies in the question of how it happened.

      This movie failed to convince and show me it existed and how it happened.

      Like

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