Paradoxical Love

Last week I took an online test from www.7apps.me to have a break and relax for a few minutes. One of the tests I’ve taken is How does your sign love?

And I got this result.

paradoxical

To be honest, the result didn’t leave a mark or impression on me, but I will admit that there’s some truth in it.

Today in the homily of the priest as preparation for the coming Holy Week, he talked about the paradoxical love of God.

What? Paradoxical ?

Paradoxical refers to being self-contradictory. It also means contradictory, inconsistent, incongruous, anomalous; illogical, puzzling, baffling, incomprehensible, and inexplicable.

The priest began with love as a paradox.

In life, I realized from the priest’s word that it was the bible who taught us or had given us the idea of  how to love someone as proven by the 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 below or should I say the bible taught us to love as a martyr.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I said that because the priest also shared that *Love is a paradox and he shared the examples below.

Examples are:

We still love someone with all our heart, even if we’ve been hurt a million times.

We give someone our all, even if that other person is not giving us their all.

We love and stay with that person, even if that person treats us wrong.

We do everything for that person, even if that person does not see us.

We love someone with all our heart and we forget about ourselves.

We think only of that person’s needs and forget ours.

We sacrifice our happiness to give that person’s happiness.

We keep forgiving that person, despite not ever apologizing to us.

That’s the kind of love that is described in the bible.

No matter what happens in the end, that kind of love always perseveres.

In fact, people are considered great when they’ve given their all, despite not receiving and expecting anything in return.

Then the priest went on that God’s and Jesus’ love is a paradox because:

God sacrifice His own son to atone our sins.

Jesus died on the cross for us.

The bible also said to love our enemies.

Jesus washed the Apostles dirtiest part of the body, their feet.

For the coming lent, let me share these:

Paradoxical commandments by kent m keith

The Paradoxical Commandments by Kent M. Keith

6_mother_teresa_quotes_love_anyway

Paradox by Mother Teresa

In real life, people who give their all to someone and not getting in return,

People who kept loving someone, despite getting hurt in the worst ways,

People who loved someone blindly, even if the person he love is cheating on him or fooling him in other ways

People who stayed as a mistress, forever hoping that he will leave his wife, etc. are stupid.

I, myself, love the definition in the bible. While I don’t want to contradict the bible, God’s, and Jesus love.

The bible also said:

Love thy neighbor, as yourself.

I understand that by saying we should learn how to love ourselves first, before loving someone else.

If we know how to ourselves, then it’s automatic to love someone as we love ourselves.

We won’t cheat them, we won’t fool them, we won’t beat them up, we won’t take all their love and take advantage of them, we won’t just give love, we will give it in return.

If we can’t return their love back, we would send them off their way to find other people who can love them back and won’t take advantage of their love.

A confession should be quiet, but a rejection should be loud and clear. That’s when and where it will hurt less.

If we let that person love us, without loving them in return and not at least informing them that we can’t love them back, paradoxical love is already the kind of love, in the person’s mind.

That person will never think there is something wrong with loving us, even if we don’t love them back because that’s how exactly the bible describes it.

Sometimes they mistake *unrequited love with *selfless love.

There is a fine line between unrequited love and selfless love and it needs to be distinguished.

Selfless love is also mistaken as *Unconditional love.

According to Ken Taylor, a co-host and co-creator of Philosophy Talk:

Part of me thinks that unconditional love is the highest form of love.  Most religions certainly seem to believe that.  That’s why they attribute unconditional love for all mankind to God.  It’s why Christ commands Christians to love thy neighbor as thyself.     But, of course,  unconditional love is easy for God  — with his infinite patience and boundless capacity to forgive.   You can’t hurt God – not really.  But humans are vulnerable.  In us, too much hurt, betrayal or disappointment kills even the deepest, most enduring love.

Since we are not in the perfect world, you will rarely see people who could love like that, but, there are people like that who follows the way of the cross and the path of love.

There’s nothing wrong with a paradoxical love, selfless love and unconditional love, but unrequited love is.

I’ve experienced paradoxical love, selfless love, and unrequited love. You won’t really know the difference unless you felt them all. I have no regrets. I’m grateful for the love I’ve felt because it made me stronger, wiser and a better person.

Everything happens for a reason. The unrequited love I’ve experienced in the past led me to a path where I found my true calling. I’m happy and I’m doing what I love to do. Even if that person does not love me, care for me or even see me, that person inspired me and moved me. That person was a big catalyst in my life that I never saw coming, and that person saved me in every way a person can be saved.

If I could turn back time, and I am given a chance to change, I wouldn’t change anything. I see my experience as a good thing, but it’s still not because there are other things in the past, that I wished he did and didn’t do. And, I also wished I didn’t love him much as I did, but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be the version of myself now.

It’s because of him, my love for him and my experience, that I felt God’s existence in my life. I felt closer to God and I have more faith and trust in Him, that I did before.

Unrequited love is a test of character and faith for me. How about to other people? I can’t guarantee that it’s going to be a good thing. There is unrequited love that resulted in addiction, obsession, insanity and worst, suicide.

So, I think people also need to learn another way of loving someone.

The kind of love, where they are also loved in return.

The kind of love, where their needs are also met.

The kind of love, where their welfare is also taken care of.

Furthermore, if they are going to love someone with all their heart, they also need to love themselves with all their heart.

If they have a husband that beats them up, they shouldn’t stay in that kind of relationship and make excuses for the husband.

If they are fooling and cheating on you, you shouldn’t stay and just continue to love that person blindly and tell yourself my love for them will always persevere no matter what.

If they made a mistake, they should at least apologize first before you forgive them. When a person is not apologizing to you, it means they are not acknowledging that what they did is wrong, or they believe that they are always right.

They have to make sure that in the relationship, both of them should listen to each other, both of them should do their best to fix the problem, both of them should remember they are both wrong, so they both should apologize, both of them should forgive each other and live in the present, both of them should love and prioritize each other more than their pride, and both of them should love each other.

Before they forgive them and give them a second chance, they need to make sure that the person really changed and that person is not going to make the same mistakes.

Alas! It’s not a perfect world, unless he/she can love each other selflessly as the bible describes, you should at least learn to love each other equally, first, if not.

3 thoughts on “Paradoxical Love

  1. Pingback: Marriage Is Not Just Papers, It’s Also Grace | Miss Cassiopeia

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s