Relationship Analysis: Fireproof

Since this movie is different to the other movies, I decided to approach this movie in a straight forward and using a different format. I saw this movie in 2010 and I’ve always thought that I wanted to write about this.

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Fireproof is an American Christian film where a firefighter tries to save his marriage by following the experiment in “The Love Dare” book.

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The movie started showing Catherine as a little girl who is full of childish innocence and declaring how she wants to marry her Dad, but her mom said, that she can’t because he’s her husband and their marriage will never end.

Fast forward to the future, Catherine is working now as a public relations director in a hospital and who is also now married to Caleb Holt, who is working as a fireman.

Catherine and Caleb are already married for seven years. According to Caleb, when they got married, they were in love.

I think that they are one of those couples who got involved, maybe just because of chemistry, but they don’t have an idea of what it’s like to make a marriage work.  Years later, this couple became strangers and they only listen to themselves, and they both don’t have consideration for each other.

Unfortunately, I just have to say that there is a majority of divorce and annulment cases because of the number of couples who get married, but doesn’t really know what they’re doing. They don’t know that marriage will never work unless it has trust, honesty, open communication, transparency, resonance, transformation, acceptance, consideration, forgiveness, love, lifelong effort to get to know each other and accept each other the changes in the person and more.

– What is the man’s *lovemap? Is it a healthy *lovemap or not?

Caleb’s lovemap is unhealthy, at first it was only affected by his personality, but eventually he let his parents, his friend, and God in his life.

He doesn’t know how to care, he only wants to get what he wants, but he doesn’t care about Catherine’s needs. He forgot to take care of her and make her feel loved, comforted, safe and valued. Instead of exploring affections, and intimacy with his wife, he is reduced to getting off with pornography on the internet.

Caleb’s parents, to be specific his Father, also influenced his lovemap in a big way in the movie. Here is one of the things he said. It’s a short version because I couldn’t understand some of the words, he said.

you can't love

Another good influence on Caleb’s lovemap is his friend Micheal. He convinced her to fight for their marriage and gave him quotes relating to his marriage.

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salt and pepper

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don't just follow your heart

– What is the woman’s *lovemap? Is it a healthy *lovemap or not?

Catherine’s lovemap is healthy at some point because it was deeply influenced by her parents, but at the same time, she has friends, who are not even qualified to give relationship advice, which also makes her lovemap unhealthy.

She doesn’t know how to listen, she keeps accusing and act suspicious of her husband almost all the time, she is also assuming without knowing the complete story first, she doesn’t respect and appreciate what her husband is doing.

– Do the personalities balance each other, complete each other, or makes them a good team? 

The couple is made up of two individuals who are dominant and works on a different wavelengths. They may be too different from each other, but they are equal in my eyes. Between the two, I’ve never seen them act as a submissive or more passive in the relationship. They both have their moments in the movie, where they dominated the other.

I’d be willing to bet that they make a great team if they go back to the time where they accept each other for who they are. This is a movie about a couple who are so different from each other, and the only thing I have on them is their love when the get married. I couldn’t sense the chemistry, and I didn’t even see the compatibility because they’re arguing too much.

– Does the relationship contribute to the growth of each person in the relationship? 

Their relationship could help make each other grow if they do something to fix their situation, and to accept and understand what both of them are going through. We already saw them saying straight forward if someone is doing something wrong or not good enough, they only need some follow through to fix things. They’re both too prideful to do something about it, all they do when they fight is complain, nag, and shout at each other. Instead if they focus on doing what’s right like open communication and understanding then they could fix their relationship. Their differences can help balance each other and make each other see other perspectives or see things differently.

According to Relationship Scientist, Dr. Helen Fisher, opposite qualities still helps a relationship grow despite having what the other research said that some relationships and marriages, couples chose people who they’ve more similarity and familiarity.

– How lovemap plays in the couples’ lives?

Unfortunately, I believe that this relationship is ruled by chemistry.  I didn’t get to see and experience any factor that would explain why and how they would fit each other’s lovemap.

What kind of *chemistry, maybe *sexual chemistry or *romantic chemistry, but since I never saw how they met, and I could never tell.

Their relationship could last longer if they don’t forget to take care of each other, and if they don’t let other things get between them and their marriage.

I honestly don’t want to tell Catherine to get new friends, but instead I’ll tell her not to listen to her friend’s advice and since she is in a relationship, she and Caleb, should try to look at things in both perspectives, and not just their own perspective.

In the movie, they weren’t fixing any of their problems because all they do is complain, but they are not seeing the other perspective, they only believe that their perspective is the right one.

I know and firmly believe that when a relationship is not working, it’s always the fault of both couples. I’m not going to side with anyone. Another thing it also doesn’t matter who apologizes first. What are they? Kids?

In the movie, they’ve already fixed their relationship, but to keep it improving, I’d tell them to keep the communication line open between them, accept each other’s differences and eccentricities, try to see each other’s perspective, and put their feet on their loved ones shoes to see other things differently.

The movie has a powerful message despite what other film critics had said about the poor acting. I cried watching the movie, I felt emotional and I liked it a lot. I’m now considering watching more Christian movies compared to the usual movies in Hollywood.

I love the way he apologized and when he told her to never leave his partner on fire.

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Another thing I love is when Caleb fixed his relationship with his mom too. He was so rude and unfair to her. I know the way a woman nags can make you insane, and I have a family member who complains like that too.

What I love the most about the movie, is this line. I believe that anyone who wants to be in a relationship should know this. Being involve in a relationship, getting married or deciding to live someone, doesn’t mean you will stop making efforts learning about your boyfriend, husband, or live-in partner. It’s not just a game where immature people get involved with.

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*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK.

11 thoughts on “Relationship Analysis: Fireproof

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