You’re raising a child, not fixing a problem

It’s not so often that a person gets to have a favorite topic be talked about in front of people you want them pay attention to.

This morning, my family and I went to Church, and the priest (oops, sorry, I didn’t get his name) talked about…

Tada!

parenting-wordle1

Yes, parenting.

He even shared several quotes from different Authors of books he read and some lines he got from Parenting Articles. I wanted badly to burst into tears during the sermon because the priest, he was telling us, some of the things I wanted my parents to know.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find one of the Authors he mentioned, I must have spelled the name wrong. One of the Authors he shared was James Lehman, he writes for the page, Empowering Parents.

The other one is R.L Noss? I’m not sure, but if his name resembles anything, please inform me.

So, I’m going to paraphrase the three things he said awhile ago:

(1) Focus on who your child is, not what he does. Get to know your children instead of just working hard and paying to give them food, clothes, shelter, and education.

(2) Parenting is just like shepherding sheeps. In raising sheeps, you should be in front to lead them, so they could follow you. You’re not raising a cow because if you do, you have to be on top of them, you have to push them, and you have to hit them to move.

If you hit the sheep, it will only fear you, but it won’t follow you because it doesn’t trust you. You need your children to trust you, if they fear you, they’re not learning, you’re only reinforcing a behavior by scaring them. If you disappear from their lives, they might lose that learned behavior and they might live their whole lives afraid to meet another person like you.

(3) You’re raising a child, not fixing a problem. As you raise your children, focus on getting to know them deeply, understanding them, and forming a bond that will solidify your relationship. Don’t just approach parenting as if you’re fixing a problem.

(4) Don’t put tags on your children. Examples are Black sheep, white sheep, the nicest, the naughtiest, etc.

(5) Children learn by watching parents. It’s their job before they go to school. Do your best to bec ome the best model for your children.

(6) If you’re close to dying, what kind of image and what words would you leave your child?

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How about you? Any additional tips?

Till next time. 😉

3 thoughts on “You’re raising a child, not fixing a problem

  1. You’ll always find that people raise their children pretty much the way they were. If you had parents that we’re abusive and believed in controlling their children with fear, then this is how you are most likely to raise yours. Kids need two things in this world, and if you provide this, you’re kids will love you more than you can ever imagine. The only thing children WANT from their parents is Love, and Attention. If you give your kids these two things then they’ll never ever want to disappoint you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree with you.
      Childrens want to be loved and to be noticed, and they will do everything to make the parents proud.
      It takes awareness, a lot of courage and conviction to raise your children differently from how a person is raised.
      Just like me, I refused to raise my children, the way I was raised. I want a tight bond and loving relationship, and not a relationship where there are afraid of me and they distrust me.

      Liked by 1 person

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