I met Michael during my nursing shifts as a student last week of October 2007. In fact, it was one of my best experiences because I studied and prepared well for that one-week hospital exposure. I badly wanted to become a cardiologist or a cardiothoracic surgeon. Aside from that, I also wanted to become a Gynecologist, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or a Forensic Psychiatrist. I was happy then because I performed well and had answered right all the questions that were given to me.
During that experience, I met him. He wasn’t the handsomest person in my eyes, we only had something in common, which is to become a doctor (we bonded so much over that) and he’s the one who approached and made friends with me. I’m not the kind of person who falls for a guy because they’re good looking. There should be more.
It felt so good to meet someone like him because he saw me as a person and he appreciated my mind and my skills. It felt refreshing to meet a guy who treats you as a person and a friend, instead of running for the hills and bullying you.
He was an optimistic and therapeutic friend who boosted up my confidence. Someone I talk to everyday.
Aside from that, I have to emphasized that he’s the first person I met where I felt love at first sight, we were a good team while working with the doctor, we also have a good *chemistry and *compatibility. But no, he’s not my *lovemap.
Unfortunately, I stayed away from him because he’s got a girlfriend and I fell for him and I even thought he was the one for me.
At first he denied having a girlfriend but I eventually realized he’s taken. (Why do guys loves to keep their relationship status? They’re supposed to say that, so women won’t fall for them, disrespect their relationship, and the women they’re with. Any comment or suggestion on this? Do you remember? It happened with D too.)
Before we graduated, we promised to exchanged stetoscopes and before we went our separate ways he gave me those two blue things in my stetoscope in that picture below. Its caps from the Hydrocortisone medications. It probably means nothing to him now , but it still means something to me.
Then in 2009, we got in touch again and got closer. We started talking to each other more, we became good friends, we shared our days, plans, and what we wanted to do in our lives. We send each other inspirational quotes and even prayers.
At that time, his relationship with his girlfriend is over. I still have feelings for him, but I made the decision to keep him as a friend. What we had as friends is more important to me and I’ve promised myself that I will never cross that boundary between friendship and lovers again. It’s just not right for me. Then suddenly, he just disappeared on me. I’m not going to assume he’s got feelings for me, but what exactly did I do wrong?
I don’t regret not pursuing my feelings for him especially after meeting D, I know and believe that D is my lovemap and I will chose D over Michael a million times even if D doesn’t belong to me.
Of course, I know in my heart, that I’ll always care and love Michael. I just don’t think I’m in love with him.
For days, I’ve been searching for an old poem I wrote for him about how much I love him and that someday I’ll moved on and love someone else.
But I’m confuse right now. Michael and I are not friends in Facebook. I decided to find him and I found something shock and confusing yesterday.
He’s already married and he’s got a new born baby. It was painful to see. I cried myself to sleep while listening to Adele’s Someone Like You. I know, silly me.
I know D is the person I’m in love with and not Michael. I believe it’s because seeing him with someone else now reminded me of how he left me when he was supposed to be my friend. He said we’ll never stop being friends, but it’s not true.
If I get the chance to talk to Michael, I’ll congratulate him and ask him why he disappeared on me that’s it. I just want to understand why he left me when he’s supposed to be my friend.
It’s really true that even though, I’d finally moved on and I’d met someone I love the most for now.
I’m not in love with him, I just love him as a person, a friend.
True love never really dies.
*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK.