Friendship and Familiarity Are Needed In Relationships

The secret to a long-lasting and enduring relationship is a strong foundation of friendship.

That’s the common trend in novels, Hollywood movies, and TV series right now. It’s the solution they have to the moonlighting curse. It is when two actors in a will-they-won’t-they situation finally get together, then the ratings will dip and until the show gets canceled. Scriptwriter or authors now, prolong the sexual tension by making the characters friends for a long time while flirting and more, until the right time for them to get together happens.

Flirtations and courtship provides an endless thrill to the audience and even to the readers, but when two characters got together, it doesn’t have that kind of thrill anymore. That’s why some audiences stop watching.

Is it still relevant? I’d say yes and no because I stopped watching some show when the couple got together, but that’s for a different blog post.

Going back to the topic. Yes, friendship does help a lot in making a relationship last. Why?

  • Because when two people are friends for a long time, they learn to look past each other’s differences. They accept each other for who they are.
  • Because friendship establishes an intimacy that leads to a deep trust.
  • Because it eventually provides security through acceptance and familiarity.
  • When friends fight, they reconcile because they can’t help being angry at each other, no matter who apologizes first. While some couples won’t reconcile right away because they don’t want to apologize first, they want to be right, and they are holding on to their pride.

So friendship and familiarity goes hand in hand. Two important things that solidifies any relationship.


A relationship without friendship is like a house just standing on the ground without roots embedded below to support and pass the test of time like storms, and hurricanes

mhGwPtWWhen two people has a strong friendship, they get to establish a certain level of intimacy and familiarity that gives you a feeling of love and belongingness. Attached with it are respect and acceptance. If you want to keep someone in your life, you would want to keep someone who;

1) accepts you for who you are,
2) respects your beliefs, dreams, principles and decisions in life,
3) makes you feel secure,
4) lets you be yourself all the time,
5) is always honest and straightforward with you rather than lie to protect you,
6) will not take advantage of your kindness, weakness, and/or naivete,
7) you can rely on through ups and down,
8) will teach you about life and enjoy it too,
9) who will teach you what’s right from wrong,
10) who will always have faith and believe in you and more.

And those descriptions above is a description of a friend, and not just a lover who will warm your bed. Couples in a relationship also have those things I mentioned above, but with couples who are friends first, the intensity, commitment, loyalty, respect, passion, and love is much deeper and stronger.

After all, friends are irreplaceable, but you can always meet someone new to date if it doesn’t work. Of course, there are friendships that don’t workout, but most people don’t easily give up on their partners because of the deep friendship they have compared to couples who only got together because they have good chemistry and they fell in love.

143033-stock-photo-woman-man-love-couple-friendship-contentmentChemistry is a trigger of a good relationship, but it is not good enough reason to get together. Love is very important, but it’s not true that love conquers all as well.

In a relationship, you need; Chemistry, Compatibility, Intimacy, Friendship, Familiarity, Love, and a matched Lovemap.

13 thoughts on “Friendship and Familiarity Are Needed In Relationships

  1. A great post about the nature of real life relationships, but I wonder if a good fictional relationship is the same as a good real life relationships. In real life, I consider a relationship “good” when it’s stable and it helps both members be better in life and handle stress. In fiction, I consider an entertaining relationship a good relationship, and most of the time “entertaining” = “drama and tension”.

    I think this is why a Romance novel ends when a couple gets together. At that point, they’ve achieved equilibrium and presumably will have few episodes of severe drama and tension. Everyone fights, of course, no matter how healthy the relationship. But in a good relationship, the fight usually resolves quickly.

    Good post that gave me some stuff to think about!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think a fictional relationship can be as good as a real life relationship if the relationship will also give the couple the same benefits, a real relationship has, such as friendship, intimacy, familiarity, security, love and belongingness, respect, acceptance, resonance that will trigger transformation, growth, self-actualization, and most importantly, a strong and real connection between two people that is bound to last a lifetime.

      Of course, there will fights, dramas, and several misunderstandings, but those things will help the couple realize their differences, shortcomings, and more and it should make them act to resolve their problems, and strengthen and deepen their ties to each other


  2. As I read this great blog, I began to think about TV shows and movies as watchers try to relate them to their lives.

    What are TV shows and Movies based on? Conflict. In movies, the conflict is resolved as it is in novels and stories. If the conflict goes away, the story isn’t a story anymore. In TV serials, the conflict is never extinguished. Well, maybe some weekly minor ones; but the two romantic characters really never come together because when they do, the overall story is dead.

    One novel writing book author says it like this. You, as a novel writer, need to bring the conflicting parties as close as you possibly can, the would be strangler in the same room with the would be victim, as close as possible without carrying out the ultimate act, to put your reader in maximum suspense.

    Hopefully, watchers will learn that conflict is great in movies and TV; but is devastating in real life. Watchers should not blend the concepts of the shows to their lives. TV shows are for entertainment; real life is for personal and family growth and nourishment. There are many more ways to have excitement in a relationship than hitting each other with the kitchen china… or other utensils.


    • I agree with everything you said, but not everyone knows this.

      I used to be one of them, those who didn’t know better and made several mistakes because I naively took what I saw as facts. and I wish I didn’t.

      Thank you for visiting and commenting. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This was fantastic! Loved it. And it is sooooo true. This is exactly what happened with my wife and I–we were friend long before lovers. And she’s still my very best friend.

    This will be bookmarked for when my kids start dating :/

    Liked by 1 person

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