Relationship Analysis: Best Of Me

~ S  P  O  I  L  E  R    A  L  E  R  T ~

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The Best of Me is an American romantic drama film directed byMichael Hoffman and written by Will Fetters and J. Mills Goodloe, based on Nicholas Sparks’ 2011 novel of the same name. The film stars James Marsden and Michelle Monaghan with Luke Bracey and Liana Liberato.

First, I just need to get this out of my system. What is it with tragic love stories and stars?

I promised you last week that I’m going to write about a movie with a happy ending. Because I’ll admit that I still can’t move on from Tauriel and Kili’s love story. I’m at least glad that there’s closure for both characters in the Best Of Me.

I always love Nicholas Sparks works ever since I read The Wedding. That’s the story that made me buy and read his work, but he broke my heart when he wrote Dear John and I was/ am also brokenhearted so I stayed away from love stories for a while.

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When I saw the Best Of Me novels, I was excited to read it and watch it. Another reason I love Best of Me is because I’ve always loved Liana Liberato and Michelle Monaghan.

The reason I chose it because I’ve always thought it was a happy ending and I’m having a really hard time writing an analysis for the movie I chose for this week.

My analysis for the story is somehow split because I love the chemistry of the adult actors, but I wasn’t feeling it between the younger actors, but it was nice seeing the flashbacks. It gave me insights on their relationship.

In the movie, Amanda is the one with an outgoing, straightforward, kind, and bubbly personality. She’s also determined and passionate for children since she plans to major in child psychology and public policy.

While Dawson is shy, doesn’t know how to talk or flirt with a girl, respectful, hardworking, studious, introverted, passive, abusive upbringing,  and he likes the stars. He shared his interest in the stars when he said that humans have always looked up to the stars for consulting and that he made his own telescope.

With those descriptions between two characters, you can sense right away that they have chemistry. They are a complete opposite of each other and that’s what’s pulling their characters together.

My favorite scene here is when they were talking as adults and Amanda said that it’s dangerous for them then she complained how he didn’t get ugly or something. It was great. I can’t ignore the sizzling tension between the characters.

Friendship, intimacy, and security somehow go hand in hand between Amanda and Dawson because they were able to share parts of their lives right away with each other. On the part where she confronted him for making her wait, showing her his bruises, and getting to know each other in the water tank.

As for love, as time goes by, the friendship grew into something more.

When Dawson got shot, I was shocked, but what made me cry is when he fell, and the last thing he saw were the stars.

It reminded me of their last goodbye ever since their reunion.

One of the things he said:

“I’m gonna trust in the stars,” He said that because he considered their reunion as a second chance for them to fix the things they’ve left behind. It provided closure for both them and declaration of love after all these years. It’s my second favorite scene.

In fact, he was hoping that the universe will realign the stars for them and things will fall into place for them. And when he closed his eyes, he saw Amanda in the garden in Tuck’s house.

In the movie, I don’t remember where Dawson’s mom is, but that’s how lovemap came into play in his life. Somehow Amanda also took cared of him the way a mom should. As for Amanda, she has a privileged upbringing, but when Dawson came into her life, just by existing, he made the best version of herself.

This is an incredible movie because at the same time, they also tried to establish how the characters Amanda and Dawson were fated to each other.

  • First is when they were younger. Amanda asked Tuck if he believes in fate or destiny. Instead, he shared a part of his love story with his wife which says that he believed in coincidences and faith. At that time, Dawson refused to believe any of it.
  • When Dawson had an accident where the explosion threw him in the water, he dreamed of Amanda then after waking up, he got a call about Tuck. That’s what made him believe that somehow it led him to find her again.
  • Due to the hardships and loneliness, Amanda experienced, she became scared and believed that fate and destiny are not real.
  • And when he died, yes, he saw the stars. He closed his eyes, and he saw his dream again in the hospital. And that scene where everything made sense.

I truly believe that there’s an endless love, but unfortunately, it’s not just for the characters somehow. Even if Dawson died, a part of Dawson will somehow always be with Amanda.

It’s still a great movie, with a very interesting twist and I still recommend it.

*Thus marked words are defined on this LINK.

Friendship and Familiarity Are Needed In Relationships

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The secret to a long-lasting and enduring relationship is a strong foundation of friendship.

That’s the common trend in novels, Hollywood movies, and TV series right now. It’s the solution they have to the moonlighting curse. It is when two actors in a will-they-won’t-they situation finally get together, then the ratings will dip and until the show gets canceled. Scriptwriter or authors now, prolong the sexual tension by making the characters friends for a long time while flirting and more, until the right time for them to get together happens.

Flirtations and courtship provides an endless thrill to the audience and even to the readers, but when two characters got together, it doesn’t have that kind of thrill anymore. That’s why some audiences stop watching.

Is it still relevant? I’d say yes and no because I stopped watching some show when the couple got together, but that’s for a different blog post.

Going back to the topic. Yes, friendship does help a lot in making a relationship last. Why?

  • Because when two people are friends for a long time, they learn to look past each other’s differences. They accept each other for who they are.
  • Because friendship establishes an intimacy that leads to a deep trust.
  • Because it eventually provides security through acceptance and familiarity.
  • When friends fight, they reconcile because they can’t help being angry at each other, no matter who apologizes first. While some couples won’t reconcile right away because they don’t want to apologize first, they want to be right, and they are holding on to their pride.

So friendship and familiarity goes hand in hand. Two important things that solidifies any relationship.

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A relationship without friendship is like a house just standing on the ground without roots embedded below to support and pass the test of time like storms, and hurricanes

mhGwPtWWhen two people has a strong friendship, they get to establish a certain level of intimacy and familiarity that gives you a feeling of love and belongingness. Attached with it are respect and acceptance. If you want to keep someone in your life, you would want to keep someone who;

1) accepts you for who you are,
2) respects your beliefs, dreams, principles and decisions in life,
3) makes you feel secure,
4) lets you be yourself all the time,
5) is always honest and straightforward with you rather than lie to protect you,
6) will not take advantage of your kindness, weakness, and/or naivete,
7) you can rely on through ups and down,
8) will teach you about life and enjoy it too,
9) who will teach you what’s right from wrong,
10) who will always have faith and believe in you and more.

And those descriptions above is a description of a friend, and not just a lover who will warm your bed. Couples in a relationship also have those things I mentioned above, but with couples who are friends first, the intensity, commitment, loyalty, respect, passion, and love is much deeper and stronger.

After all, friends are irreplaceable, but you can always meet someone new to date if it doesn’t work. Of course, there are friendships that don’t workout, but most people don’t easily give up on their partners because of the deep friendship they have compared to couples who only got together because they have good chemistry and they fell in love.

143033-stock-photo-woman-man-love-couple-friendship-contentmentChemistry is a trigger of a good relationship, but it is not good enough reason to get together. Love is very important, but it’s not true that love conquers all as well.

In a relationship, you need; Chemistry, Compatibility, Intimacy, Friendship, Familiarity, Love, and a matched Lovemap.

What is Chemistry?

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Chemistry, some have it instantaneously with someone and some doesn’t.

All these years, I can recall all the guys I liked or had fallen for. There were six of them, the four were schoolmates, but among them the last two stood out. They were the ones whom I felt a strong chemistry with. Surprisingly, the last person was the most unlikely I’ll ever like or love. Why? He’s basically the complete opposite of my preferences.

So why did I feel that way towards him?

In fact, out of the last two, my feelings for him were more intense and stronger especially after he talked to me. My feelings for him were the hardest to remove because of the chemistry. There are eight types of chemistry and I’m pretty sure I felt the four.

  1. Intellectual Chemistry

The first time I saw him, the idea of him, his work and his writing invigorated me. I just wanted to get to know him! We talked and I thought, it was nice of him to take people like me seriously.

  1. Emotional Chemistry

I got to know him a little better and his story became an inspiration to me and his passion in reaching his dreams, somehow served as a catalyst. He gave my life a 180-degree turn for the better.

  1. Sexual Chemistry

The guys I like are usually clean-shaven, with a tall, lanky frame and they don’t have tattoos, but he’s not clean-shaven, has a huge, hunk-like built or maybe I’m just too small for him, and he’s got tons of tattoos. My preferences disappeared, and I stopped believing that people have types. It also led me to start researching why people fall for a certain person or feel chemistry and how it happens.

  1. Empowerment Chemistry

When I encountered him online, I never thought I would fall for him and I never thought I’ll get to this: How I am now as a person. This is the last, but it’s the most important of all. Because of Dave’s life story, I felt empowered to pursue my dreams, to be comfortable with my own skin, to never give up, to make my dreams happen, and his existence in my life, made me mature more as a human being. Dave was a hell of a ride, but it’s all worth it because of the things I gained as a person.

For more chemistry types, check this LINK.

First, let’s define it.

Chemistry for me is chemicals in our body that results in feelings of desire, excitement, and danger towards the person. You’ll always remember it, the sudden rush of joy the first time you met or saw him, to some, it’s the first touch and the first kiss. You can’t just get enough of it. According to Elizabeth Baldwin, it is the “igniter and catalyst of a relationship“. Luckily, chemistry happens unconsciously, and spontaneously, anyone can create it.

So how do you create chemistry with anyone you like?

  1. Be down-to-earth and sincere

According to Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., “if a person is comfortable with themselves, they are better able to express their true self to the world which makes it better to get to know them, even if perspectives differed”.

  1. Use the 4Ws and H (What, When, Where, Why and How)

Determine the person’s interests or things you have in common and talk about it. Remember: Don’t ask questions that are answerable by Yes or No. Don’t talk too much. It should be two-sided. Don’t share too much information right away. Keep it exciting by preserving the element of mystery.

  1. Mirror-Image

One of the easiest ways to tell if someone like you is through body language when a man is attracted to you, his body is facing towards you. Mirror-Image creates sexual magnetism. In creating a mirror-image, do it as subtle as you could to the point of being accidental. Notice couples on outdoors some are positioned in a mirror-image. According to Nicholas Boothman, Speaker and Author of How to Make Someone Like You in 90 seconds or less and How to Make Someone Fall In Love With you in 90 minutes or less, synchronizing body movements creates Chemistry.

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  1. Find similar experience

Similar experience lets you connect in a deeper level and get to know and understand each other better. When you disclose personal information, remember to sparingly share very serious or personal stuff right away. Balance the information you give.

Chemistry is not just for couples and you can have it with friends, family, and colleagues.

Unfortunately, According to Helen Fisher, Anthropologist and author of Why We Love and Why Him, Why Her, chemicals responsible for love (dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin) is replaced by different chemicals (Oxytocin, bonding hormone, and vasopressin) responsible for feelings of attachment after two years.

At this stage, it puts the couple in a calm state. The urge to mate and reproduce is replaced by feelings of togetherness and attachment to raise their offspring. So if you want to keep the chemistry going, go back to step number one.

It takes practice to make it second nature, so do it with people around you. It improves skills in creating rapport with anyone and it can lead to relationships: Friendship, Romantic Relationship, or Camaraderie with friends or colleagues.

Below is the science of falling in love, check it out.

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Relationship Analysis: Love’s Kitchen

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Love’s Kitchen is about Rob Haley (Dougray Scott), an up-and-coming chef and restaurateur in London, is grief-stricken when he loses his wife. With encouragement from his infamous friend and real life TV Chef Gordon Ramsay, Rob decides to spice up his life by turning a run-down country pub into a gourmet restaurant. His food catches the eye – and taste buds – of beautiful American food critic, Kate Templeton (Claire Forlani) and they soon both write a recipe for love that leaves both their hearts – and their stomachs – full.

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How did the characters meet?

Rob met Kate when he went to The Boot to inquire the owner if the place is still free.Kate is a food critic and a regular visitor of the place and she told the owner he shouldn’t sell it.

Apparently, Rob has a strong dislike to food critics due to his previous experience before. So he immediately acted like a wounded jerk to her the moment they met.

How the characters in the movie are attracted to each other?

When Rob officially opened The Boot, an incident led Kate and Rob to start a deal that led to a friendship and something more.

The attraction wasn’t apparent when they first met, the second time they encountered each other, that’s when they became friends and slowly got to know each other.

Is it *love at first sight or just *lust at first sight?

In the movie, it is not love at first sight or even lust because Rob is still hung up on his dead wife while Kate didn’t really showed interest in him.

The way they see each other only changed when they started the deal and when Kate tasted the meals he made the second time around and his special trifle.

Was there chemistry between the couple?

What’s great about this couple for me is that their chemistry is a good balance between *intellectual, *sexual and *romantic chemistry.

Intellectual because they connected through food.

Romantic and sexual chemistry started to develop as Kate spends more time with him and his daughter, Michelle.

If you read my relationship analysis posts all the time, you’ll notice that I didn’t go very specific with them.

Why?

When people are faking and forcing chemistry on screen, you can get very specific on how the couple tried to act like they have chemistry.

But the chemistry here is so real and natural, it’s sexy subtle. Throw in a little trivia here, I’m probably wrong, but the main actors playing Rob (Dougray Scott) and Kate (Claire Forlani) is married in real life. I don’t know the whole story so if you’re curious, you can tell me about it.

What is the man’s *lovemap? Is it healthy or not?

The man’s lovemap became unhealthy after his wife died. He refuses to take risks in life. Aside from his wife’s accident, he’s deeply traumatized by the critic, he got that at first he refuses to take a risk on The Boot and getting publicity for The Boot.

It was Kate who had changed things around him. She somehow influenced him to take risks and to resolve his issue with food critics.

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My favorite dialog from him to Kate are:

You’ve got to take risks once in a while.

You reminded me of who I was and who I’m supposed to be and what I could be.

Everything has changed because of you.

What is the woman’s *lovemap? Is it healthy or not?

Kate has a healthy lovemap because she is sensible, straightforward, mature, independent, responsible, dominant, proper, does the right thing and has a great sense of humor. Well, you might notice that I’m praising Kate so much, but she’s not perfect. She wasn’t brave enough to confess to Rob that she gave him a bad review years ago.

The movie didn’t focus much on Kate, but if you watch her character. She is so well put together. Yes, she is also sarcastic at some point, which sometimes I find charming and annoying in some parts of the movie.

The great thing about her is she influenced Rob in a big way and even her father. I love her conversation with her Dad when she told him that not everything is about him and how he had hurt her when he fooled around for a while.

Does the relationship contribute to the growth of each person in the relationship?

I’d say, Kate’s personality contributes a lot to Rob’s personality. In fact, in the movie, she may responsible for his failure, but it’s also her who did him a lot of favor.

Do the personalities balance each other, complete each other, or makes them a good team?

Yes. Rob is an introvert while Kate is the opposite. Kate is mature, responsible and a risk taker, but Rob sometimes needs a push to do things.

As for Kate, Rob can tone her impulsiveness and her quick judgment at times.

Are they capable of maintaining a long-lasting relationship?

As long as Rob will stop acting like a bloody fool, a wounded failure, and a jerk. And as long as Kate will have a patience for him and continue giving him stability by being the traits I mentioned above then they will be fine.

Why the relationship will work and last longer? Why not?

The relationship will last because they are both open and straight to each other when it comes to their thoughts,  opinions, and actions.

Well, if Rob acts like an immature, wounded failure and by bringing up the past, and if Kate loses her patience over him, then the relationship won’t even work.

If you’re looking for a movie with foods that will feed your eyes and your taste, unfortunately, that’s not the focus of the movie, it’s the romance, personal growth, and healing. The movie has some bad reviews, but I don’t really care about them because what I care about is the quality of the relationships in movies. It’s a feel good movie with its own charm, funny moments and characters with some growing up lessons and second chances in love.

What’s the point of having a cool plot, explosions, and expensive movie budgets, if the developed characters and relationships are crappy and actors are wrong for the characters? Right?

*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK.

Relationship Analysis: Northern Lights

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Northern Lights is a novel by Nora Roberts adapted to a movie in 2007. Nate Burns accepts a job as chief of police in Lunacy, Alaska, hoping to get away from the traumatic death of his partner back in Baltimore. He meets Meg, an independent bush pilot, whose father is found dead in a mountain cave.

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Let me first make a statement that I won’t factor in what probably went on behind the scenes because I don’t want to emphasize  or glamorize it. But it might have/ might not contribute to the relationship of the characters in the movie.

Was it love at first sight?

I haven’t read the book yet, but what a way to build up tension and emotion between the characters. Yes, there’s love at first, and second sight before they finally met. It was captivating and magical to watch.

Is there chemistry between the couple?

There was * sexual chemistry the moment the couple laid eyes on each other and just every time they were together. It was just sizzling between them.

Yes, there’s also * intellectual chemistry with the way the couple engages on their verbal spar.

The actors who played the characters has a great chemistry and compatibility. Those roles were truly made for them. They were perfect for the roles.

Did the couple’s personalities balance, and complete each other and makes them a good team?

Nate seemed to be passive introvert which matches Meg’s extroverted and straightforwardness.

In such a short time, the couple somehow bonded and slowly got to know each other. Their relationship in the movie would seem fast phase, but not necessarily. Instead, their interactions together and working together comes out naturally.  

 

Does the relationship contribute to the growth of each person in the relationship?

Nate and Meg brought out the best in each other. It helps that Meg is so straightforward and she tells him what she thinks of him, she taught him different perspectives, and how things seem to other people’s eyes.

What is the man’s *lovemap? Is it a healthy lovemap or not?

Nate has an unhealthy lovemap due to his past relationship. His ex-wife cheated on him. Aside from that, he’s got an issue because he believes his partner died because of him. It’s normal for him to think that way, but it’s an unhealthy thought because he wasn’t the one who shot his partner.

I did love the part about him where he didn’t flirt with other women, he only did his job, and he only had eyes for Meg. He wasn’t a jerk to the other women on the show, despite them showing interest toward him.

What is the woman’s *lovemap? Is it a healthy lovemap or not?

Meg has an unhealthy lovemap because of her mom’s influence and because she grew up believing that her Dad left them.

While her mom sleeps around and never gets serious with any guy she meets. Meg is scared to fall in love  because she’s afraid that the guy might leave her too.

There’s a scene where she asked her mom, how could she love her Dad, despite everything, but her mom just answered, it was true love and she gave her heart to her Dad. Once you find that kind of love, you never let it go.

Another great scene with her mom is when she asked Meg if she loves Nate, and Meg said yes. Her mom gave her an advice, “Then marry him and hold on to that feeling for the rest of your life. Hold on to it hard.”

And in return, Meg pushed her mom to take a chance on John. A guy who’s always been in love with Meg’s mom.

Despite their issues, finding out Pat’s (Meg’s dad and Charlene’s husband) death, brought closure to Charlene and Meg and helped fix their relationship.

Meg is a commitment phobic and stays away from guys, but she can’t resist Nate’s connection with her. In fact, she’s very selective with her interactions with other guys.

How lovemap plays in the couples’ lives?

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We know that Nate has a healthy lovemap, but he’s got an issue with this past regarding his partner, but Meg told him that he can’t live his life that way, that he can’t run away. She also convinced him to talk to his partner’s ex-wife and when he did, he finally fixed his issue and it let him have a fresh start in his life with her. Meg is a strong force for Nate, she encouraged him to make a decision and to fight hard for what he wants and loves to do in his life.

Now, as for Meg, Nate is a catalyst in her life. Meg has been already a strong and independent woman, but she found a guy who is interested in her, who is concerned for her and her well-being, someone who  can be a source of strength for her and a sounding board for her thoughts, and concerns. He gave her stability, security, and commitment. So he also set her lovemap right. At the same time, he somehow helped heal Charlene and Meg’s relationship.

Here’s a review from someone who have read the book and watched the movie.

Despite what went on behind the scenes, like she said, read the book and watch the movie. It’s a great simple story.

*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK

Relationship Analysis: The X-Files, Mulder & Scully (MSR)

xfiles-back The X-Files is an American science fiction horror drama television series created by Chris Carter. The program originally aired from September 10, 1993, to May 19, 2002, on Fox, spanning nine seasons and 202 episodes. The series revolves around FBI special agents Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) andDana Scully (Gillian Anderson) investigating X-Files: marginalized, unsolved cases involving paranormal phenomena.

Fox Mulder is an Oxford Psychologist holder and became famous at the FBI when the psychological profile he wrote broke the case of Monty Props. Until he came across the X-Files, FBI cases that were designated unsolved then Scully was assigned to him as his partner. Mulder also believes in the existence of Aliens because he witnessed her younger sister, Samantha, taken from their house.

Dana Scully is an excellent Medical Pathologist and a skeptic who was recruited by the FBI. Despite her background in Science, she continues to be a Catholic. Scully was assigned to debunked Mulder’s work on the X-Files so he will return investigating normal cases again.

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In fact, the terms Shippers, Snoggers, FanfictionX-Philes, and MSR were created because of the show.

Shippers are fans who wants characters from a book, movie, and TV series to end up together. Snoggers are X-Files fans who wants Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny to end up together. Fanfictions are fictions written by fans using characters from books, movies, and TV series. X-Philes is the name of the X-Files fans, which literally means lover of X.

So what is MSR? MSR stands for Mulder Scully Romance. Below is a summary of their relationship. MSR Defined by Erockfurnia/ Erockxf.

*Intellectual Chemistry was shown right away in the Pilot episode when Mulder told Scully that she read her thesis and he was impressed that she tried to make her own interpretation of Einstein’s Twin Paradox.

*Sexual Chemistry. Well the show is full of sexual tension from the characters ever since Scully bared to her underwear in front of Mulder when she thought she had the same marks as their victims who died of exposure also in the Pilot episode.

*Empowerment Chemistry. Well, I can’t really point out each episode of the show because it’s over 202 episodes. But in the span of nine years working together as partners at work and best friends, Mulder and Scully supported, listened, reprimanded and empowered each other to never give up. They drew strength from each other. The best part is they don’t back down from each other and they voice their opinions when one of them did something wrong and when they disagree with each other’s thoughts and beliefs. They were open to each other. They just don’t have chemistry, their personalities, upbringing and experiences as an individual are compatible because they could both learn from each other because of their different perspectives. It is a very good indication of a well-matched *lovemap. After all, lovemap is not just about having chemistry, and compatibility, it’s so much more.

You see, Mulder is unconventional in investigating the cases and also the kind of person who is desperate to find out the truth. He will stop at nothing to get there and he will accept every breadcrumb of evidence to get there without analyzing the credibility of it. Scully taught him the importance of working hard for the evidence. As I’ve mentioned above, Scully’s background in Science made her a skeptic so it was hard for her to see and believe Mulder’s line of thinking and she follows the procedures accordingly. Eventually, Mulder opened up her mind to other things and according to her he taught her to be brave in believing other things that are beyond the realm of science. Despite their differences, they respected each other.

Romantic Chemistry was palpable throughout the show and even the movies. The couple got together at all, but it already ended. In the first movie, The X-Files: Fight the Future, they had this moment outside Mulder’s apartment where they almost kissed but they didn’t because of that freaking stpid d*mn bee that stung Scully. But in the second movie, I Want To Believe, they were together, they hugged and kissed, but they broke up. Also, they’ve released the kissing scene version from the first movie, where the bee did not sting Scully. It was hot and it was the time, where we, the old X-Files fans came out of our caves and celebrated a big reunion online.

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The first thing I love about the show is because they were investigating weird, mysterious, and scary phenomena. The second thing is the main characters are intellectually stimulating, entertaining, even funny and very interesting. The third thing I love in the show is how the relationship between the main characters was never planned.

They were only supposed to be a man and woman who are good friends. To be honest, the show was supposed to end in Season 5 with Millennium as the finale episode and it was also a crossover of the new series at that time, Millennium. It is in the episode where Mulder and Scully shared their first kiss, but it was originally their second kiss. Their first kiss happened in the hospital when Scully had cancer in the Season 3, Memento Mori, but it was never aired.

So the writers at first did not write with the intention of putting the characters in the will they or won’t they situation. It was just something they discovered, and tried to go with it. They are not like the scriptwriters now who are trying hard to put couples in that situation who will toy with the audiences for a long time.

I’m a big fan of NCIS but what happened to Ziva and Tony was just unacceptable. I don’t blame the fans for wanting Ziva to come back to the show, after all they invested so much of themselves in the show for seven years, so expect the fans to be bitter for maybe, another seven years before they move on. With that said, I guess the moonlighting curse is real. I am a devout Densi Shipper (Deeks & Kensi), but I stopped watching when the characters got together. I’ve wanted them to get together, but I felt that their relationships was too force and wasn’t handled the way I wanted it to happen.

Also, the backstories of the characters were not good enough for me to explain the characters’ personalities and attitudes. Deep inside, I’ve thought the writers will answer my questions, but after six years, I still got nothing from them and I also felt that they should have handled the characters issues before they got together. The resolution with Kensi’s Jack wasn’t even good enough for me because there was so much build up and emotions invested in the character before.

In six years, sure, there are changes in the characters when they met each other, but it wasn’t enough for me or maybe I just want adult characters, so maybe that’s my problem. At the same time, I’ve realized that Nallen (Nell & Callen) makes much more sense to me as a couple because of their upbringing, experiences, personality, and more. I have nothing against Densi and Neric, I still enjoy them when I’m not analyzing and when I miss the show.

I’m way more satisfied with how the writers handled the relationships on Castle, Bones, Chuck, and Nikita. Wait, of course, NCIS, NCIS LA, and the others are all great shows and I will still encourage other people to watch it. All the writers are talented and worked hard to give fans something fresh and new all the time. After all, there are other reasons to watch the show, so tune in and watch.

What I mentioned above, is just my opinion. Anyway, so sorry for this commercial, let’s go back to the X-Files. Fox Mulder has an unhealthy *lovemap. It was shown through his upbringing and also some of the women he dated in the show.

For instance, Diana Fowley (Mimi Rodgers) is a smart woman, and who is also Mulder’s first partner, but when Fowley got recognition from the higher ups, she left Mulder right away. She was kind to him, but she always has a different agenda. In fact, I don’t even understand her intentions in the show, and I refused to remember anything about her anymore.

Of course, who could resist the three piped problem, presented by Phoebe Green. Mulder dated her during his Oxford days. Phoebe thinks of Mulder as a game, she knows he’s afraid of fire, and what she did is brought a case to him about arson. On top of that, while she is seducing him, she is also busy working another man at the same time. It’s funny how Mulder refer to her as fire, considering that Mulder is an air sign, and naturally it is known to gravitate toward the fire signs all the time. At the same time, Mulder already has a fire inside him so he doesn’t need Phoebe in his life because he will get burn over and over again. Just some trivia there somewhere.

Mulder has an unhealthy *lovemap. Thank God he met Scully because she set it right. She became his friend, his family and more. Scully also became the person who calmed down the fire in him, so Scully serves as one of the best things that happened to him.

Dana Scully has a somewhat unhealthy *lovemap based from her upbringing and her relationships with her parents. While I don’t remember much Scully’s dating lists. Scully is an analytical, practical, rational and sensible person in the show. She is the voice of reason in Mulder’s head. So when she met Mulder, he somehow set her lovemap in the right direction.

Scully was supposed to be dating someone in the Pilot episode, which was also never aired, but the guy is supposed to be working for the FBI as well.

Jack Willis is Scully’s FBI instructor. She got involved with him, after dating for a year, but broke up eventually. Unfortunately, it does not say much about Jack’s character. So this does not really count as something healthy.

Dr. Daniel Waterson is Scully’s former Professor. She had an affair with him and left him after she was recruited by the FBI. I guess I don’t have to explain more why it makes her *lovemap unhealthy at somepoint. One of the questions you’ll have in your mind, what’s a sensible woman doing in a forbidden love affair. There seems to be a pattern here, the fact that she got involved with older guys, but that does not make it unhealthy.

Ed Jerse is a guy she met on the episode, Never Again. It is an episode where Gillian Anderson asked the writers to write a darker side of Scully. It is in the episode where she got her Ouroboros tattoo on the small of her back. Scully strike up a conversation at a tattoo parlor where he invited her to dinner which at first she declined, but after an irritating conversation with Mulder, she went out with Jerse and stayed at her apartment, where he kissed her.

Phillip Padgett is an author experiencing some writer’s block. He is also Mulder’s neighbor. He is someone Scully did not really get involve with, but this case affected Scully in a weird, mysterious and scary way. Well, what can you expect it’s X-Files. He appeared to Scully as an admirer, he watched her from afar, and he even sent her a Milagro pendant. Padgett lured Scully to his apartment. I can’t forget the time where Phillip told her that she came to his apartment because she was curious about him so he invited her to come in and she did. Scully was somehow in a trance while she was with him and she almost slept with him until Mulder saved Scully from him.

It is somehow hard to write about lovemap considering the mysterious factors added to the show, but you will know what I’m talking about Mulder and Scully’s relationship, once you watch a couple of episodes or so.

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The relationship Mulder and Scully have is ideal for me because their relationship has a good foundation of friendship. As audiences, we witnessed how they became friends, what they’ve gone through, how they became best of friends, and how they fell in love for each other. It wasn’t forced, it happened naturally. Mulder and Scully belong together because of all the factors that affect their relationship, and not just because they are best friends. Just like Gillian Anderson quoted below:

Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with. – Dana Scully, Rain King

They are not like those couples who are targetting each other as lovers because they are best friends. I have nothing against those couples ending up together because they are best friends. I’m against those who are forcing themselves on their best friends, just so they could have the happy ending they’ve seen in those copped out movies. It’s like scriptwriters are thinking let’s make the characters best friends, so that audiences will root for them to end up together. It’s bad enough when you notice how forced it is when the characters are pretending to have chemistry or to be in love with each other, it’s such a turn-off.

Anyway, on top of having the characters great chemistry, it doesn’t hurt that the actors who played also have a great friendship that as fans we can’t stop watching. Before, I actually told myself that I’m going to write this analysis maybe next year or so and I only plan to write this analysis of relationships when series are complete. But since X-Files is going to have a new installment on January 2016 (Yey!), I have to write this now.

To be honest, I don’t know what I’m going to see on the episodes and I’m afraid that the show will because it’s too old, it may be irrelevant to other audiences, and last but not the least it may air episodes similarly written with shows airing these days. I also think that maybe Fox is using the show the show to gain something I’ll ignore it. And besides, I have faith on the actors, Chris Carter and the other staff who will work on X-Files again.

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*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK. For those of you who’ve never seen the show, but you’re interested in finding out the love story, click here and scroll down to Route 3: The Shipping News.

Relationship Analysis: Once

   – S P O I L E R  A L E R T – main_img_2  “Once” is a modern-day musical set on the streets of Dublin. Featuring Glen Hansard and his Irish band The Frames, “Once” tells the story of a street musician and a Czech immigrant during an eventful week as they write, rehearse and record songs that reveal their unique love story.

Once is a low-budget musical movie in 2007 where the song “Falling Slowly” became popular. It was composed and sung by also the instrumentalist and actors who played the characters in the movie, Glen Hansard, and Marketa Irglova. Before I start my analysis on the story, the movie had numerous bad reviews, and it also has good reviews due to it’s subtle message and songs you might/ might not enjoy.

I enjoyed the movie because I’m also an instrumentalist, an aspiring broadway actress, and most important of all I can somehow relate to the story. The characters were never given a name, Glen played the guy, and Marketa played the girl. It is a story about the girl and the guy who met and bonded over music, but they were not meant to stay in each other’s life, they only meant to teach and help each other just for a moment. That is why, I believe that the sayings about a couple it’s true. Some couples are meant to be together just for a moment, at a specific time. There will come a time, that some of them will split up, and be with someone else.

Also, I love that they showed the message of the movie in a subtle way and the emotions through the song. The couple met Once. And in those brief encounters, there was resonance and transformation. It was short, but it left the couple the longest and strongest expression that will last them a lifetime. once

Marketa playing “The Hill” from the movie.

The girl’s *lovemap is healthy for me maybe it’s because for being a mom at an early age. She is separated with her husband at that time, and she is the breadwinner of her family. She is sensible, responsible, practical, industrious, innovative especially when the girl got the guy a recording opportunity, and talented of course. She is also broken hearted because she and her husband were experiencing some problems. I based that on the song she played, The Hill. How she’s still learning and trying since her husband is much older than her. The girl inspired and motivated the guy in the movie to work on his songs, and to work on their own record album. She moved him to move forward and do something about his situation.

The *guy’s lovemap is somehow unhealthy because he suffered a heartbreak too. He’s got full of ideas, he’s got a good voice and plays guitar too. He works hard as a busking Dubliner and he fixes vacuums. He’s older than the girl but at one point of the movie, acts like a teenager when he invited the girl to bed, but she refused up until the end when he invited her again to stay the night on his last day at the city. She said she’ll visit him, but she never came. The guy inspired her to play the piano again and also to sing. He just seemed like a lost man to me. As if he hasn’t got things under control or figure out in his life.

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Playing “Falling Slowly” from the movie.

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Falling Slowly from the broadway musical.

Guy and the girl had chemistry when they first met. She was in awe of him when he was playing his guitar and singing on the street. They were lonely kindred souls who found each other, as they were still holding a torch for a previous lover. The scene where they played “Falling Slowly” was a very precious scene. This is where the guy found out that the girl is a very good pianist, and she was able to pick the song easily.

This was a story about a couple who met once and fell in love with each other, sending each other smiles, and stares of deep longing, who were supposed to be together, but it doesn’t mean they’ll stick together for the rest of their lives. In the end, the guy got back with his ex-girlfriend, and the girl got back with her husband. The last scene was bittersweet, it never left me, and it always makes me sad every time I watch it.

Another thing I love about the movie is because of the realistic situation and the setting. It’s not like the cop out situations given in series and the movies to make the audience believe that the couples should end up together or that they deserve to be together. Watching them for a short time made us want them to be together.

Aside from the movie’s unique charm, the actors who played the characters also helped the connection and the chemistry of the couple in the movie, and for it to gain popularity because Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova fell in love during the shoot of the musical and started dating while promoting the movie.

Apparently, Glen and Marketa had known each other years before, despite their eighteen years age gap, they were also drawn to each other ever since they met and they’ve also bonded together through their music.

So the *chemistry on screen is not just pretending, it was intact before they even started playing the characters. It was a mixture of real *intellectual chemistry between them which was shown through their music, *empowerment chemistry from the way they inspired, and helped each other and *sexual chemistry shown by the smiles, stares and deep longing they shared.
I can’t speak for the couple’s relationship, but the couple made a sort of sequel for the Once movie, called the Swell season, it is a documentary film of Glen and his band, The Frames, with Marketa. Unfortunately, in the film, the couple eventually break up. They didn’t handle the sudden rise to fame and the relationship well to work.

That’s in the past, because just like the movie, the couple is now happy with someone else and are somehow still friends. So everything is fine. Due to the movie’s success, the Once musical movie, is even now on broadway. Once is a charming and unique movie, with a big message delivered subtlely. So, guys, I recommend you to watch it. I hope you enjoy it, the way I did.

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*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK.