The Negotiation “협상”

After 화유기, I’ve completed one korean drama, and started two new korean dramas that are still ongoing. One of them is Crash Landing On You “사랑의 불시착” starring Hyun Bin 현빈 and Son Yejin 손여진. Their new drama is really good as well as the plotline of the story which I will talk about in the next few days.

With that in mind, I was curious to see where they started, so I decided to watch the movie where they first worked together, The Negotiation.

S P O I L E R A L E R T

It was very interesting cause their characters acted most of the time on different locations. They only communicated through an online video call.

Why?

In the movie, Hyun Bin portrayed the a character, Tae Min Go, who is an industrious gang member, arms dealer, hostage taker, and more. While Son Yejin, played Ha Chae Yoon, compassionate and smart, an Inspector and expert Negotiator in the Seoul Police Department who had studied from the US.

First reaction, it was like a culture shock for me considering I just came in from watching their drama series, a romantic comedy, where their characters will fall for each other. Their characters are so warm and funny and have a glaring difference.

The movie started with a couple who taken hostage. It made me laugh a bit that the hostage takers were played by Filipino actors or extras, imagine my surprise.

Anyway, Inspector Ha was called in from vacation and went in inside the hostage situation without any means of protecting herself. Since, she’s an expert, you think it will be fine, but in my opinion, her superior made the wrong call from the start. He should have given her a chance to negotiate properly. The hostages were killed eventually.

Inspector Ha gave her resignation and was rejected, but she was called in again to another hostage taking situation and was supposed to engage only through online video call. Here she meets, hostage taker charismatic Min Tae Gu.

I apologize but I won’t tell the whole story. You can watch it on different korean websites and I highly recommend it.

It is very intense, thrilling, and full of suspense. The chemistry between Son Yejin and Hyun Bin is superb even though they were only talking through the monitors.

The movie didn’t start out light like most korean drama series, a few minutes into the movie and you are already lured into suspense and adrenaline rush.

Sure, the movie has its own calming scenes to let you breath but once the scenes gets serious, it always shock you. It is very unpredictable. So this is for the movie goers who wants to be surprise by the outcome.

What I absolutely love about the movie is how they connected the mini plots to each other. I didn’t see that coming and I like that a lot. ㅋㅋㅋ

I also love the writing and plotting technique. I remember that technique from my theater workshop but it was applied to the movie in reverse. In the technique, you will let the audience know a secret, but the important character doesn’t know it which creates great tension.

In the movie, it was only one character who knows something. As the movie moves forward, the characters and the audience slowly catches on to what really happened.

In situations like this, the rapport that forms between people like them always astounds me especially because they are in different sides of right and wrong. I truly commend working people like them. 대박! So kudos to the actors who played their parts so well.

At the same time, it is raw and emotional. I love how in the end that I find myself emphathizing with the hostage taker, Min Tae Gu. He is not exactly the villain of the movie but he is in a way.

Ha Chae Yoon’s character is fierce, and confident. She is such a spitfire!

The movie is completely fictional but reflects the society in Korea. In real life, complicated situations don’t always end up like this but in the movie, somehow, there’s a little bit of justice.

I am very entertained with this movie but be warned that it is not a very light hearted drama.

For my next blog, tune in about what I think to korean drama series, 사랑의 불시착 “Crash Landing On You” starring the same actors.

Relationship Analysis: Brown Sugar

Brown Sugar  is a 2002 American romantic comedy film written by Michael Elliott and Rick Famuyiwa, directed by Famuyiwa, and starring Taye Diggs and Sanaa Lathan. The film is a story of a lifelong friends, A&R Andre and Editor-in-Chief Sidney.
 The movie started with the question, When did you fall in love with Hip-Hop? At first, I didn’t know the significance of that question, until I got to the end of the movie.

It’s not the just the story of how Hip-Hop started and evolved, but it’s also a story about how love grew between two people.

 

Young Dre and Sid

The two can attribute their friendship and the launch of their careers to a single, seminal childhood moment – the day they discovered hip-hop on a New York street corner. Now some 15 years later, as they lay down the tracks toward their futures, hip-hop isn’t the only thing that keeps them coming back to that moment on the corner.

Sidney Shaw fell in love with Hip-Hop and later became a music journalist and a successful editor for the XXL  magazine. She is smart, caring, strong, stubborn, hardworking, sensible, mature, clever, and passionate at what she does. In the movie, Sid served as the voice of reason, although she had her moments of being lost and confused, and when she slept with Dre. At least she made the right decision to ask for some space to think, and figure things out.She is played  by actress, Sanaa Lathan.

Dre Ellis fell in love with Hip-Hop and later became a successful music executive. He is caring, fun, smart, stubborn, hardworking, charming, childish, and a player. In the movie, Dre is a bit messed up for me. He slept with Sid after finding out his wife cheated on him. It was hot, but I don’t consider it as the ultimate consummation of their love for each other. It was just wrong for me. He is played by actor and singer Taye Diggs.

For years, I binge on watching movies about best friends ending up together, but as I grew up, I realized that it’s bullsh*t to push the idea to people. Some writers, producers, and directors don’t understand the process of true love and relationships because if they do, they wouldn’t have done the particular movie theme. It doesn’t mean I’m not a fan of the idea, but I do believe that some best friends are meant to be together. And Brown Sugar is one of the movies, that is realistic and true.

They are not affected by the Westermarck Effect. 

Why? 

Because they had come to like each other first/ fell in love with each other first before they even became friends. 

In the Westermarck Effect, men and women who grew up together in a close proximity have reached a certain level of intimacy and familiarity that prevents them from falling in love. 

What’s great about Dre and Sid is that they fell in love with each other, the day they also fell in love with hip hop. I always consider the first meeting to be important. I’m glad that they included it in the movie and they showed how important it was.

Dre getting engaged with Reese was the trigger of Sid’s secret feelings to come out, and it somehow also triggered Dre’s when they kissed the night before he got married. At first they tried to live their lives like before, but it didn’t work out because of the closeness they have and when Dre quit his job and told Sid first before his wife, Reese.

This is where I relate the quote of Antoine de Saint-Exupery below.

In the movie, Dre and Sid grew up keeping the same direction which is hip hop. They may have different careers, but their careers still involves hip-hop. It’s the factor that held them close to each other including the other factors that they grew up together, and they’re great friends.

Their chemistry in the movie started with Activity chemistry, when they discovered and fell in love with hip-hop when they were ten years old. As a person, we love to spend time with people who has the same interests with us, and the one who shares a hobby, and/or a passion with us.

Due to the 15 years of friendship between them, it made them very familiar of each other. In the movie, I saw the frequent times, Dre went to Sid, despite being married. When it comes to relationship, when the attachment had formed, we want to stick with them. And here, we can see that Dre is glued to Sid despite being married.

As for their Personality and Compatibility, Sid and Dre has compatible personalities, lifestyle, and careers. They are a team. He writes, creates, and/or produces music, and she writes a review about it. Dre is the thinker and the doer. Sid is also a thinker, a doer, and a supporter. She’s the voice of reason and support to Dre. And Dre also supports and believes in her.

As for the Principle of Completion, Sid gave Dre his key feeling. She supported him in everything as shown on the scene when he told her that he’s going to make his own record label and she became a financial source to him. She told him, “Look, you’re my best friend. There’s nobody who believes in you more than me.” She helped him make his dreams come true, contrary to what his wife did. His wife, Reese, doesn’t know better and she just treated his dream as a hobby.

At the same time, Dre also gave Sid her key feeling to feel complete. He appreciates her as a person, as a friend, and especially her skills as a writer, as an editor, and as a music journalist. He still remembers her first article, and he reads her column on the L.A. Times religiously, because it makes him feel closer to her. Compared to Kelby, her fiance, who only read the article she wrote about him. Sure, I’ll give him some break and consider that he did promised to read all her work, he takes care of her, he cooks for her, and he’s trying to accept Sid’s friendship with Dre. 

The problem is Sid is not just committed to him, the way she’s committed to Dre and his dreams and to her work. Her relationship with Kelby is a relationship that’s bound to end from the start.

Another good thing going on between them is their Intimacy. Sid and Dre already have emotional intimacy because of their 15 years of friendship. And that intimacy equates to the level of familiarity the characters have. That familiarity provided the characters a comfort blanket that made them stick to each other. 

As for Dre and Sid’s Lovemap, I will compare it to the research John Money, Emeritus Psychologist and Sexologist, had done years ago with kids. He conducted a research with kids ages from 8 to 11 years old. It is where he showed them pictures of other kids and made them choose. Then several years later, he got back to them and discovered that majority of them were married to the person who’s got a similarity to the person they chose from the pictures.

That research also applied to Sid and Dre. The only difference is they grew up together. They molded each other’s lovemap as they grew up. They both love hip-hop which served as a glue to their friendship and which led them to fall in love with each other. As time goes by, that friendship and love became deeper and more mature. And when that happened, that’s where romantic chemistry and sexual chemistry set in.

In the movie, Sid finished her book and called it “I Used To Love Him“, she described it as her love letter to hip-hop.

Her final words in her book.

I always thought, one day I would outgrow my relationship with hip-hop. 

I never thought it was a fad, like many.

But I never thought it could grow and mature.

I thought it would be an adolescent memory I’d look back on, like a crush on the captain of the football team.
But I realize we have more than that. Much more. 

We have a history…a friendship.
We listen to each other.
We laugh together.
We finish each other’s lyrics.
I don’t have to pretend with hip-hop, and hip-hop doesn’t have to pretend with me.

My feelings have never been more clear, and I know they will never go away.
To Hip-hop.

Just like any best friends who crossed the line of friendship to love, their is a bump and that’s the fear that the relationship might not work, and they might lose the friendship. Which is what happened to Sid. So in the last scene, after some time had passed,  it was finally revealed to everyone that Hip-hop is Dre to Sid. She said.

During Sid’s interview in Hot 97, Dre called and asked her the question back, “When did you fall in love with Hip-Hop?” She finally told him the truth and he told her.

“Sidney… I have loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you.
And I love you still. You’re my air.
So, I don’t want to be your friend no more.”

This is the first time where Sid and Dre told each other that they’ve been in love with each other for a long time after everything that happened between them. It’s doesn’t exactly follow the process or stages of love I wrote about, but it is realistic. After all, love doesn’t care if it’s proper or right, it just wants to exist. And that’s why we all have brains to make the right decision and not just follow our heart all time. Because our emotions, when it comes to love, relationships, and decision making, it can also be governed by being lost, confusion, stress, lust, and more.

What I can say with the script is it was clever. I love the research they made. How they wrote the love story, and include hip-hop in it. It’s probably a very simple story, but it’s the kind of movie every in loved best friends should watch. It’s the kind of movie, you’d want to watch and get that good feeling in the end, also the really good and thrilling feeling of falling in love. The theme of the movie is subtle, the script wasn’t preachy, the scenes, and the chemistry of the actors are not forced. It is a movie, that will make you laugh, cry, fall in love, and feel the thrill for almost two hours.

Relationship Analysis: Avatar

Avatar (marketed as James Cameron’s Avatar) is a 2009 American epic science fiction film directed, written, produced, and co-edited by James Cameron, and starring Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Stephen Lang, Michelle Rodriguez, and Sigourney Weaver. The film is set in the 22nd century, when humans are colonizing Pandora, a lush habitable moon of a gas giant in the Alpha Centauri star system, in order to mine the mineral unobtanium, a room-temperature superconductor. The expansion of the mining colony threatens the continued existence of a local tribe of Na’vi – a humanoid species indigenous to Pandora. The film’s title refers to a genetically engineered Na’vi body with the mind of a remotely located human that is used to interact with the natives of Pandora.

Jake Sully was a former marine and who replaced his twin brother, Tom Sully, in the Avatar Program. He  is an introvert, fearless, determined, has a good heart, headstrong, has a lot of guts, cheeky, charming, a fast learner, adaptable, and cold to outsiders, but once he gets to know you and vice versa, he opens up to them.

His training and experience as a marine made it easier for him to relate with the Na’vi, and he’s injury made him look at things in a different perspective. He is portrayed by Sam Worthington.

When it comes to Jake’s *lovemap, I interpret the person’s lovemap usually by basing it on their upbringing, their relationships with everyone around them, and their experiences that will mold their lovemap match.

Since I can’t find all the information I need about Jake and Neytiri, I can only based their lovemap’s interpretation through their chemistry, their personality, and their experiences.

For Jake’s, I believe that when it comes to a woman, he would want someone tough and someone who could handle his personality, and accept him wholly even the baggage he brings.

And somehow Neytiri matches Jake’s lovemap because she’s tough and she can handle him just fine.

He fell for her because even though he’s a moron, slowly she accepted him for who he is. She gave him so much.

In fact, the song I See You by Leona Lewis, described it pretty well. She opened his eyes to their culture, spirituality, and most important of all, love. She basically gave him a new life, a new start in the clan. She revolutionized his world and gave him a new perspective in life. She made him care and feel not just for him, but for the people around him too.

In the movie, there was the  Jake’s dream hunt scene that wasn’t used in the movie. In here, Grace won’t allow Jake to eat the worm because it might kill him. They don’t know what the worm would do to an avatar’s brain. Grace also told him that he can never truly be with her, because he will always go back to his own body. But Jake was desperate to become one of them. I love this scene, because this is where I saw how much Jake wanted to become one of them, how much he wanted to be with Neytiri. So it’s a very important scene for this post.

In the dream, he was supposed to hunt the animal that would represent him and it will also let him truly See like the People. Well, that’s what the scene meant to me.

Was it love at first sight for Jake?

It could have been. Why? Because Neytiri saved his life. And just like I explained before in my Relationship Analysis for Tauriel and Kili here, Jake unbelievably is the damsel in distress. Whether we like it or not, we tend to fall for the person who saves us in every way. It is also easy to fall in love especially when we are vulnerable. And he is vulnerable because he almost got killed the first time they met.

Another reason is he was impressed by Neytiri. As a marine, he probably assumed that he can take all those viperwolves with his training and experiences in the war. And he didn’t expect to be saved by a local Na’vi girl with impressive skills. He’s a marine and he can’t even take them, but she did.

Neytiri te Tskaha Mo’at’ite is the Na’vi princess of the Omaticaya clan. Neytiri is the daughter of the Chief and Tsahik (One who interprets the will of Eywa, their clan’s diety). She is considered of royal blood as her parents owned the highest title of the tribe. She is loyal, brave, has a strong will, wise beyond her years due to her ranked, tough, caring,  stubborn and rebellious. The Omaticaya clan hated the sky people, because according to them, it’s hard for sky people to See and also because Neytiri’s older sister, Sylwanin died in front of her. She is portrayed by Zoe Saldana.

Jake met Neytiri when she saved him from the viperwolves in the forest. She was supposed to kill him, but there was a sign from a woodsprite, very pure spirit (Seeds from the Secret Tree). She planned to leave him afterwards, but more woodsprites surrounded him.
Neytiri’s parents, the Chief and Tsahik of the tribe, decided to let him stay to study him because he is a warrior dreamwalker. And they’ve never met a warrior before that belonged from the Sky People (depicting people from planet Earth). Neytiri impressed Jake. But Neytiri thinks he’s a moron for not knowing what to do.

She saved him because he’s got a strong heart. No fear, but stupid and ignorant.

Tsu’tey is supposed to mate with Neytiri and the next Chief of the tribe. I can’t say much about them, but it only seemed like a political match. They greet each other formally, but they don’t seem close. They don’t seem to see into each other, only their relationship with the nature and Eywa. Tsu’tey and Neytiri are only united by their goals to rule and protect the clan. He may have real feelings for Neytiri, but she fell in love with Jake.

But then, there were deleted scenes I got from Avatar Wiki and Extended DVD Edition (I think?). One of them is where Tsu’tey got jealous of Jake. In the party where Jake finally became a part of the people. Tsu’tey was supposed to open up to him, but Neytiri invited Jake to dance. Tsu’tey was jealous and especially when he realized that Neytiri mated with Jake.

It was also during their dance where Mo’at and Eytucan decided to separate Jake and Neytiri. They noticed their closeness and that they’ve fallen for each other. This is an important scene for this post because it showed the real status or how Jake and Neytiri perceived each other.

Of course, Neytiri was sneaky, that’s when she took Jake to the tree of souls. Then she explained that since he’s already part of their clan, he may carve his bow from the wood of hometree and he may choose a woman. And we know what happened next.

This is the first time I’m going to bring up the *Westermarck Effect. It is said that when a man and woman who lived in close domestic proximity during the first few years (0-6 yrs old) of their lives, they become desensitized to sexual attraction. It is according to Finnish Anthropologist Edvard Westermarck in his book The History of Human Marriage (1891).

Also, even Dr. Helen Fisher, an Anthropologist and Relationship Scientist, in her book Why We Love, said that when a man and woman reach a certain level of friendship, intimacy, and familiarity, they become desensitized to sexual attraction and romantic feelings to each other.

When it comes to body chemicals: The chemistry of attachment, can quell the chemistry of romance. The kind of attachment Neytiri have with Tsu’tey is too much and family like, to the point it has already desensitized her  from falling in love for him.

I’m sure Neytiri cared for Tsu’tey, but not in a romantic way.

For Neytiri’s *lovemap, I have to admit that somehow it was hard for me to observe, because I usually observe real people, I only got to observe Neytiri closely through her facial expressions, voice, and body language. They made it easier for me to detect what she’s feeling.

While Neytiri gave Jake so much, I can say that she fell for a Skxawng (Moron) who made the effort and never gave up to study their culture, and relationship with their diety, Eywa. Just like Jake said, At first it was just orders. Then everything changed. I fell in love with the forest, with the Omaticaya People, with you. 

He gave his everything to her, because what did he have to lose? Most important of all, he let her be herself and appreciated and accepted her for who she is, because in the tribe, she needs to act as the chief and tsahik’s daughter, and tsu’tey’s betrothed. But with Jake, it’s different. He can make her smile and laugh. He somehow opened her mind more to sky people, that there’s goodness in some sky people and they are able to See.

According to the Avatar Wiki, Neytiri is supposed to be in her teens or she’s eighteen years old, but despite the young age, Na’vi grow up fast. With the efforts Jake had done to become a part of The People. He also became someone to lean on and depend on by Neytiri. When Jake became the 6th Turok Macto, Neytiri was afraid, but not anymore when he came back and sided with them.

Was it love at first sight for Neytiri?

I believe so, in the form of being drawn to him. It wasn’t obvious because of the existing hatred for Sky People. She wants nothing to do with him, but whether she likes it or not she was drawn to him. She grew fonder of him and slowly, she realized that he made her feel things that she never felt before and feelings that even Tsu’tey could never trigger in her. He is a moron, but he gets away with it with his fearlessness, boldness, charm, cheekiness, confidence, and eventually hardwork to become one of them. His fearless nature is truly a sight to behold, it could take your breath away. He is the kind of guy who would jump over a cliff even if he doesn’t even know what he’s doing.

It would have been really easy for Jake and Neytiri to fall for each other because they spend too much time together. While watching the movie, the Na’vis don’t seem to have the concept of personal space because they touch intimate body areas all the time like their chests, arms, and they invade someone’s personal space all the time. I mean even Tsu’tey touched Jake in his chest. Casually touching each other is essential cause in their tribe that’s what Seeing into someone truly means. The people are close to each other because they have physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy.

Just like how Norm is trying to explain to Jake. When they say I See into you, it doesn’t mean I see you in front of me. Instead it’s saying I See INTO you. Which I will relate to what I said in my Intimacy post.

Intimacy is INTO-ME-SEE. When you say I See you, I see into you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

In real life, you can also be close to someone physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But it takes a lot of work. It involves consistent transparency to each other, communication and quality time together.

The other way is through meditation in a sacred or quiet place. Jaime T. Licauco, an authority in the Psi Phenomena and a Parapsychologist,  is a living proof to this event. He explained his experience in detail in one of his books. In his experience, he and a woman merge souls and they were able to see into each other’s past experiences, feelings, thoughts, and more.

What is somehow good in Neytiri and Jake’s relationship is that before they became physically intimate, somehow they were able to get to know each other, and study to become intimate emotionally and spiritually. Which is essential in every relationship that ever existed. They became friends first, became familiar, and eventually fell in love.

Just like in any other relationship, it’s the differences that draws you to each other more. And the more they spend time together, the more they adapt to each other’s personality, culture, beliefs, they even start to resemble each other and even copy each other’s mannerisms.

Basing it from the *Principle of Completion, Jake and Neytiri made each other feel the key feeling they’ve been looking for. Even if Neytiri, wants nothing to do with him first, she eventually became a big supporter to him. And as for her, Jake appreciated Neytiri as a person and he let her be herself. And the most important thing he gave her is he somehow he returned some innocence in her because of Jake’s childish wonder. She lost that innocence when her sister died, and when she became the next Tsahik of the Omaticaya Clan.

Jake and Neytiri are united not just by their similar goals to care and protect the clan, they are also brought together by their love, and by their spiritual relationship with the nature and their diety, Eywa. Eywa choose Jake for the Omaticaya, and also for Neytiri. Jake and Neytiri’s union was blessed by Eywa. 

Do they have *chemistry?

I think they have the *activity or *creative chemistry. After Jake bonded with his ikran, their relationship reached a different level because Jake is good at flying. And when two people enjoy the same things, their chemistry grows.

Eventually as they got closer, *romantic chemistry happened. You can see it in the way they interact, their looks, touches, and body language.

Due to their personalities compatibility and being able to bond with their queues, I can’t imagine their relationship ever diminishing in the years to come. Instead I expect it to grow more and I expect them as a couple who are one in mind, body, and soul. Of course, they have their own individuality. But they also have a natural affinity to each other which is already obvious before they even mated, and made the bond (tsaheylu, connecting their queues). Or am I expecting too much? They have a neural connection after all. I believed that they feel each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually aware of each other’s thoughts, feelings, and their past experiences.

The effective and captivating relationship between Jake and Neytiri is also thanks to the actors Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana. God! They really have a damn good chemistry. You can see it in the way they interact in their interviews. It’s fun and refreshing to watch them. You won’t get enough of them. I’ll even pay big money just to watch them host any show. Kidding. 😉 Don’t have that kind of money, but still. They’re really fun and entertaining to watch. When you have that kind of chemistry between two actors in your hands, there’s so much potential in a romantic story, and it would be easy to get away with any scene or story.

Due to my busy schedule since 2004, I hardly have time to explore on movies I like so I wasn’t aware of the planned sequels of Avatar. Last July, I saw Avatar a couple of times on Star Movies and it made me want to write a Relationship Analysis just because of the words, I See You. I wasn’t a big fan of Avatar the first time, but I’m already a big fan of James Cameron.

So after seeing Avatar in a different light and a couple of times. It just grows in you. Of course, I’ll have to say that what James Cameron achieved with Titanic, Avatar and other movies is a stroke of genius that never ceases to amaze me and always captures my attention.

I was hopeful for a sequel. And then last Sunday, as I was researching for this post, I only found out about the planned sequel, and the explanation why there are planned 4 sequels. I was ecstatic. I found out the sequels here. Click link for more details. I debated whether to continue this post or not, because I don’t write relationship analysis post for stories that are not done yet, just like what I did with Before Trilogy directed by John Carney.

Now, I will repeat what I said in my twitter. I’m hopeful, skeptical, and a little excited.

Hopeful that it will succeed. Even though I have a special love for The Hobbit, I wished that it won’t have the same flaws of The Hobbit trilogies. I wish that the story would be somehow original, unpredictable, and that they keep my attention to Jake and Neytiri’s relationship, and that they make their relationship consistent and improved.

Considering that when it comes to love stories, James Cameron approach here and in Titanic is always life changing by someone who is lost or in a lifetime crisis. In Titanic, it was Rose who was somehow in a crisis. And Rose said that Jack saved him in all the way a person can be saved. I’m paraphrasing. In Avatar, it was Jake who was saved by Neytiri, but in the end, they both saved each other, and their whole clan which meant more.

 

Relationship Analysis: Best Of Me

~ S  P  O  I  L  E  R    A  L  E  R  T ~

The Best of Me is an American romantic drama film directed byMichael Hoffman and written by Will Fetters and J. Mills Goodloe, based on Nicholas Sparks’ 2011 novel of the same name. The film stars James Marsden and Michelle Monaghan with Luke Bracey and Liana Liberato.

First, I just need to get this out of my system. What is it with tragic love stories and stars?

I promised you last week that I’m going to write about a movie with a happy ending. Because I’ll admit that I still can’t move on from Tauriel and Kili’s love story. I’m at least glad that there’s closure for both characters in the Best Of Me.

I always love Nicholas Sparks works ever since I read The Wedding. That’s the story that made me buy and read his work, but he broke my heart when he wrote Dear John and I was/ am also brokenhearted so I stayed away from love stories for a while.

When I saw the Best Of Me novels, I was excited to read it and watch it. Another reason I love Best of Me is because I’ve always loved Liana Liberato and Michelle Monaghan.

The reason I chose it because I’ve always thought it was a happy ending and I’m having a really hard time writing an analysis for the movie I chose for this week.

My analysis for the story is somehow split because I love the chemistry of the adult actors, but I wasn’t feeling it between the younger actors, but it was nice seeing the flashbacks. It gave me insights on their relationship.

In the movie, Amanda is the one with an outgoing, straightforward, kind, and bubbly personality. She’s also determined and passionate for children since she plans to major in child psychology and public policy.

While Dawson is shy, doesn’t know how to talk or flirt with a girl, respectful, hardworking, studious, introverted, passive, abusive upbringing,  and he likes the stars. He shared his interest in the stars when he said that humans have always looked up to the stars for consulting and that he made his own telescope.

With those descriptions between two characters, you can sense right away that they have chemistry. They are a complete opposite of each other and that’s what’s pulling their characters together.

My favorite scene here is when they were talking as adults and Amanda said that it’s dangerous for them then she complained how he didn’t get ugly or something. It was great. I can’t ignore the sizzling tension between the characters.

Friendship, intimacy, and security somehow go hand in hand between Amanda and Dawson because they were able to share parts of their lives right away with each other. On the part where she confronted him for making her wait, showing her his bruises, and getting to know each other in the water tank.

As for love, as time goes by, the friendship grew into something more.

When Dawson got shot, I was shocked, but what made me cry is when he fell, and the last thing he saw were the stars.

It reminded me of their last goodbye ever since their reunion.

One of the things he said:

“I’m gonna trust in the stars,” He said that because he considered their reunion as a second chance for them to fix the things they’ve left behind. It provided closure for both them and declaration of love after all these years. It’s my second favorite scene.

In fact, he was hoping that the universe will realign the stars for them and things will fall into place for them. And when he closed his eyes, he saw Amanda in the garden in Tuck’s house.

In the movie, I don’t remember where Dawson’s mom is, but that’s how lovemap came into play in his life. Somehow Amanda also took cared of him the way a mom should. As for Amanda, she has a privileged upbringing, but when Dawson came into her life, just by existing, he made the best version of herself.

This is an incredible movie because at the same time, they also tried to establish how the characters Amanda and Dawson were fated to each other.

• First is when they were younger. Amanda asked Tuck if he believes in fate or destiny. Instead, he shared a part of his love story with his wife which says that he believed in coincidences and faith. At that time, Dawson refused to believe any of it.
• When Dawson had an accident where the explosion threw him in the water, he dreamed of Amanda then after waking up, he got a call about Tuck. That’s what made him believe that somehow it led him to find her again.
• Due to the hardships and loneliness, Amanda experienced, she became scared and believed that fate and destiny are not real.
• And when he died, yes, he saw the stars. He closed his eyes, and he saw his dream again in the hospital. And that scene where everything made sense.

I truly believe that there’s an endless love, but unfortunately, it’s not just for the characters somehow. Even if Dawson died, a part of Dawson will somehow always be with Amanda.

It’s still a great movie, with a very interesting twist and I still recommend it.

*Thus marked words are defined on this LINK.

Relationship Analysis: Love’s Kitchen

Love’s Kitchen is about Rob Haley (Dougray Scott), an up-and-coming chef and restaurateur in London, is grief-stricken when he loses his wife. With encouragement from his infamous friend and real life TV Chef Gordon Ramsay, Rob decides to spice up his life by turning a run-down country pub into a gourmet restaurant. His food catches the eye – and taste buds – of beautiful American food critic, Kate Templeton (Claire Forlani) and they soon both write a recipe for love that leaves both their hearts – and their stomachs – full.

How did the characters meet?

Rob met Kate when he went to The Boot to inquire the owner if the place is still free.Kate is a food critic and a regular visitor of the place and she told the owner he shouldn’t sell it.

Apparently, Rob has a strong dislike to food critics due to his previous experience before. So he immediately acted like a wounded jerk to her the moment they met.

How the characters in the movie are attracted to each other?

When Rob officially opened The Boot, an incident led Kate and Rob to start a deal that led to a friendship and something more.

The attraction wasn’t apparent when they first met, the second time they encountered each other, that’s when they became friends and slowly got to know each other.

Is it *love at first sight or just *lust at first sight?

In the movie, it is not love at first sight or even lust because Rob is still hung up on his dead wife while Kate didn’t really showed interest in him.

The way they see each other only changed when they started the deal and when Kate tasted the meals he made the second time around and his special trifle.

Was there chemistry between the couple?

What’s great about this couple for me is that their chemistry is a good balance between *intellectual, *sexual and *romantic chemistry.

Intellectual because they connected through food.

Romantic and sexual chemistry started to develop as Kate spends more time with him and his daughter, Michelle.

If you read my relationship analysis posts all the time, you’ll notice that I didn’t go very specific with them.

Why?

When people are faking and forcing chemistry on screen, you can get very specific on how the couple tried to act like they have chemistry.

But the chemistry here is so real and natural, it’s sexy subtle. Throw in a little trivia here, I’m probably wrong, but the main actors playing Rob (Dougray Scott) and Kate (Claire Forlani) is married in real life. I don’t know the whole story so if you’re curious, you can tell me about it.

What is the man’s *lovemap? Is it healthy or not?

The man’s lovemap became unhealthy after his wife died. He refuses to take risks in life. Aside from his wife’s accident, he’s deeply traumatized by the critic, he got that at first he refuses to take a risk on The Boot and getting publicity for The Boot.

It was Kate who had changed things around him. She somehow influenced him to take risks and to resolve his issue with food critics.

My favorite dialog from him to Kate are:

You’ve got to take risks once in a while.

You reminded me of who I was and who I’m supposed to be and what I could be.

Everything has changed because of you.

What is the woman’s *lovemap? Is it healthy or not?

Kate has a healthy lovemap because she is sensible, straightforward, mature, independent, responsible, dominant, proper, does the right thing and has a great sense of humor. Well, you might notice that I’m praising Kate so much, but she’s not perfect. She wasn’t brave enough to confess to Rob that she gave him a bad review years ago.

The movie didn’t focus much on Kate, but if you watch her character. She is so well put together. Yes, she is also sarcastic at some point, which sometimes I find charming and annoying in some parts of the movie.

The great thing about her is she influenced Rob in a big way and even her father. I love her conversation with her Dad when she told him that not everything is about him and how he had hurt her when he fooled around for a while.

Does the relationship contribute to the growth of each person in the relationship?

I’d say, Kate’s personality contributes a lot to Rob’s personality. In fact, in the movie, she may responsible for his failure, but it’s also her who did him a lot of favor.

Do the personalities balance each other, complete each other, or makes them a good team?

Yes. Rob is an introvert while Kate is the opposite. Kate is mature, responsible and a risk taker, but Rob sometimes needs a push to do things.

As for Kate, Rob can tone her impulsiveness and her quick judgment at times.

Are they capable of maintaining a long-lasting relationship?

As long as Rob will stop acting like a bloody fool, a wounded failure, and a jerk. And as long as Kate will have a patience for him and continue giving him stability by being the traits I mentioned above then they will be fine.

Why the relationship will work and last longer? Why not?

The relationship will last because they are both open and straight to each other when it comes to their thoughts,  opinions, and actions.

Well, if Rob acts like an immature, wounded failure and by bringing up the past, and if Kate loses her patience over him, then the relationship won’t even work.

If you’re looking for a movie with foods that will feed your eyes and your taste, unfortunately, that’s not the focus of the movie, it’s the romance, personal growth, and healing. The movie has some bad reviews, but I don’t really care about them because what I care about is the quality of the relationships in movies. It’s a feel good movie with its own charm, funny moments and characters with some growing up lessons and second chances in love.

What’s the point of having a cool plot, explosions, and expensive movie budgets, if the developed characters and relationships are crappy and actors are wrong for the characters? Right?

*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK.

Relationship Analysis: Begin Again

Begin Again is a 2013 American musical comedy-drama film written and directed by John Carney and starring Keira Knightley and Mark Ruffalo. Knightley plays a singer-songwriter who is discovered by a struggling record label executive (Ruffalo) and collaborates with him to produce an album recorded in public locations all over New York City.

When I saw the movie, I was more focused on Dave and Greta. Not that I’d feel regretful over Dave, but when I was watching it, I was reacting over Dave’s betrayal and how their relationship ended for good. I remember the last scene of Greta riding the bike away from Dave and thought that moment was freeing for her.

In watching the movie, I learned how Dave got poisonous or was badly influenced by his fame that he became the kind of person who would cheat on his girlfriend and prioritize earning more by turning their song into something else by following the popular trend. The song lost its soul and meaning because of how the music was arranged the second time. (Not that Adam’s version is not good. That’s just the storyline.)

Dave became the kind of person who would compromise his work because his priority was to please the audience. He’s got an unhealthy *lovemap because of how he treated Greta as his girlfriend and what he did to her. His life was run by his fans and by the people he’s trying to please. His life is not his own anymore. Greta taught Dave to be yourself and to not become the kind of person who follows the trend all the time. She preserved the soul and the meaning of her songs, but he forgot about that. At least in the end, it’s good that he realized he messed up. So I’m relieved with that.

Where lovemap is concerned, here’s my mapping on how the characters’ lovemap was improved in the movie.

Greta was the catalyst in Dan’s life. He lost his job and Greta gave him a reason to go on. Hearing her song was a hope for him because he heard something magical that night. She also gave him the courage to fix his life, his relationship with his wife and his daughter. Greta set his *lovemap right. Eventually, we realized that since they were both lost and they are musically inclined, they connected. So this is where the *intellectual chemistry happened.

At the same time, for Greta to moved on from her ex, Dan gave her hope and a reason to go on with her life by creating their album together. He supported her through and through in the process of her album and he never tried to change her or her songs. Dan set her *lovemap on the right path and she saw Dave for he is and it enabled her to moved on for good.

In the span of the movie, they gave each other’s life a-180 degree turn that made them live with the best versions of themselves. Now that is where *empowerment chemistry happens.

At the end of the movie, Dan set her wife’s *lovemap right by making her realize what she did and by seeing the guy she had an affair with for he is. So she got back with him.

When it comes to cheating cases, I believe that everybody deserves forgiveness with or without apology from the other person. Because when you forgive someone, you’re not living your life with anger and grudges over that person. You’re doing it for yourself and not the cheater. I also do know that forgiveness takes time, it’s never forced.

Second chances are only deserved by people who realized they were wrong and those who’ve worked hard to earn your trust again. I’ve seen rare cases of men and women who deserved taken back by the person they cheated on. I believe that not all cheating cases should end and there are those cases that are unforgivable. For example, if the man/ woman continued to cheat for a long time.

Having a failed marriage and being cheated is not the end of the world unless you lived by revolving your world around him/ her. I don’t believe that once a cheater is always a cheater applies to everybody. I believe it applies to those who are mentally ill and very selfish people because they keep doing it and they don’t feel any shame in hurting other people.

So I’m going return the movie’s question. Can a song save your life?

In the movie, Dan probably saw and heard Greta’s song and thought it saved him, but not completely. Like I mentioned before, Greta’s song was the catalyst, but it was Greta who saved him at some point of the movie. She reminded him of how much he loves his wife and encouraged him to fix things. She even fixed his relationship with his daughter and thought her to act more like a respectable woman than those who’s showing so much skin. Like Greta said, it leaves nothing to the  imagination.

Did the song save Greta? I believe that she was only given an opportunity through her song because she lost something (someone). Despite her heartbreak, she’s not so messed up like Dan. She carried herself still properly in the movie. One of her best scenes for me is when she called Dave and sang him a song.

Director John Carney was trying to achieve the same effect that the Once movie had. Begin Again was a successful and enjoyable movie, but it didn’t surpass Once’s unique charm and reputation.

BEGIN AGAIN – 2014 FILM STILL – (L-R) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY and ADAM LEVINE – Photo Credit: Andrew Schwartz/The Weinstein Company

To be honest, at first I’m not sure how I’m going to analyze the relationship in the movie because so much was going on.

The audience is divided into two or three groups. The first group is affected because of the failed relationship between Dave and Greta. The second group is affected because of the almost love affair that never happened between Dan and Greta. And the third group is debating with the second group that the ending is much better rather than having Greta involved with Dan.

If you haven’t seen the movie yet, watch it now. DVD copies and soundtracks are available anywhere.

*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK.

Relationship Analysis: The X-Files, Mulder & Scully (MSR)

The X-Files is an American science fiction horror drama television series created by Chris Carter. The program originally aired from September 10, 1993, to May 19, 2002, on Fox, spanning nine seasons and 202 episodes. The series revolves around FBI special agents Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) andDana Scully (Gillian Anderson) investigating X-Files: marginalized, unsolved cases involving paranormal phenomena.

Fox Mulder is an Oxford Psychologist holder and became famous at the FBI when the psychological profile he wrote broke the case of Monty Props. Until he came across the X-Files, FBI cases that were designated unsolved then Scully was assigned to him as his partner. Mulder also believes in the existence of Aliens because he witnessed her younger sister, Samantha, taken from their house.

Dana Scully is an excellent Medical Pathologist and a skeptic who was recruited by the FBI. Despite her background in Science, she continues to be a Catholic. Scully was assigned to debunked Mulder’s work on the X-Files so he will return investigating normal cases again.

In fact, the terms Shippers, Snoggers, Fanfiction, X-Philes, and MSR were created because of the show.

Shippers are fans who wants characters from a book, movie, and TV series to end up together. Snoggers are X-Files fans who wants Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny to end up together. Fanfictions are fictions written by fans using characters from books, movies, and TV series. X-Philes is the name of the X-Files fans, which literally means lover of X.

So what is MSR? MSR stands for Mulder Scully Romance. Below is a summary of their relationship. MSR Defined by Erockfurnia/ Erockxf.

*Intellectual Chemistry was shown right away in the Pilot episode when Mulder told Scully that she read her thesis and he was impressed that she tried to make her own interpretation of Einstein’s Twin Paradox.

*Sexual Chemistry. Well the show is full of sexual tension from the characters ever since Scully bared to her underwear in front of Mulder when she thought she had the same marks as their victims who died of exposure also in the Pilot episode.

*Empowerment Chemistry. Well, I can’t really point out each episode of the show because it’s over 202 episodes. But in the span of nine years working together as partners at work and best friends, Mulder and Scully supported, listened, reprimanded and empowered each other to never give up. They drew strength from each other. The best part is they don’t back down from each other and they voice their opinions when one of them did something wrong and when they disagree with each other’s thoughts and beliefs. They were open to each other. They just don’t have chemistry, their personalities, upbringing and experiences as an individual are compatible because they could both learn from each other because of their different perspectives. It is a very good indication of a well-matched *lovemap. After all, lovemap is not just about having chemistry, and compatibility, it’s so much more.

You see, Mulder is unconventional in investigating the cases and also the kind of person who is desperate to find out the truth. He will stop at nothing to get there and he will accept every breadcrumb of evidence to get there without analyzing the credibility of it. Scully taught him the importance of working hard for the evidence. As I’ve mentioned above, Scully’s background in Science made her a skeptic so it was hard for her to see and believe Mulder’s line of thinking and she follows the procedures accordingly. Eventually, Mulder opened up her mind to other things and according to her he taught her to be brave in believing other things that are beyond the realm of science. Despite their differences, they respected each other.

Romantic Chemistry was palpable throughout the show and even the movies. The couple got together at all, but it already ended. In the first movie, The X-Files: Fight the Future, they had this moment outside Mulder’s apartment where they almost kissed but they didn’t because of that freaking stpid d*mn bee that stung Scully. But in the second movie, I Want To Believe, they were together, they hugged and kissed, but they broke up. Also, they’ve released the kissing scene version from the first movie, where the bee did not sting Scully. It was hot and it was the time, where we, the old X-Files fans came out of our caves and celebrated a big reunion online.

The first thing I love about the show is because they were investigating weird, mysterious, and scary phenomena. The second thing is the main characters are intellectually stimulating, entertaining, even funny and very interesting. The third thing I love in the show is how the relationship between the main characters was never planned.

They were only supposed to be a man and woman who are good friends. To be honest, the show was supposed to end in Season 5 with Millennium as the finale episode and it was also a crossover of the new series at that time, Millennium. It is in the episode where Mulder and Scully shared their first kiss, but it was originally their second kiss. Their first kiss happened in the hospital when Scully had cancer in the Season 3, Memento Mori, but it was never aired.

So the writers at first did not write with the intention of putting the characters in the will they or won’t they situation. It was just something they discovered, and tried to go with it. They are not like the scriptwriters now who are trying hard to put couples in that situation who will toy with the audiences for a long time.

I’m a big fan of NCIS but what happened to Ziva and Tony was just unacceptable. I don’t blame the fans for wanting Ziva to come back to the show, after all they invested so much of themselves in the show for seven years, so expect the fans to be bitter for maybe, another seven years before they move on. With that said, I guess the moonlighting curse is real. I am a devout Densi Shipper (Deeks & Kensi), but I stopped watching when the characters got together. I’ve wanted them to get together, but I felt that their relationships was too force and wasn’t handled the way I wanted it to happen.

Also, the backstories of the characters were not good enough for me to explain the characters’ personalities and attitudes. Deep inside, I’ve thought the writers will answer my questions, but after six years, I still got nothing from them and I also felt that they should have handled the characters issues before they got together. The resolution with Kensi’s Jack wasn’t even good enough for me because there was so much build up and emotions invested in the character before.

In six years, sure, there are changes in the characters when they met each other, but it wasn’t enough for me or maybe I just want adult characters, so maybe that’s my problem. At the same time, I’ve realized that Nallen (Nell & Callen) makes much more sense to me as a couple because of their upbringing, experiences, personality, and more. I have nothing against Densi and Neric, I still enjoy them when I’m not analyzing and when I miss the show.

I’m way more satisfied with how the writers handled the relationships on Castle, Bones, Chuck, and Nikita. Wait, of course, NCIS, NCIS LA, and the others are all great shows and I will still encourage other people to watch it. All the writers are talented and worked hard to give fans something fresh and new all the time. After all, there are other reasons to watch the show, so tune in and watch.

What I mentioned above, is just my opinion. Anyway, so sorry for this commercial, let’s go back to the X-Files. Fox Mulder has an unhealthy *lovemap. It was shown through his upbringing and also some of the women he dated in the show.

For instance, Diana Fowley (Mimi Rodgers) is a smart woman, and who is also Mulder’s first partner, but when Fowley got recognition from the higher ups, she left Mulder right away. She was kind to him, but she always has a different agenda. In fact, I don’t even understand her intentions in the show, and I refused to remember anything about her anymore.

Of course, who could resist the three piped problem, presented by Phoebe Green. Mulder dated her during his Oxford days. Phoebe thinks of Mulder as a game, she knows he’s afraid of fire, and what she did is brought a case to him about arson. On top of that, while she is seducing him, she is also busy working another man at the same time. It’s funny how Mulder refer to her as fire, considering that Mulder is an air sign, and naturally it is known to gravitate toward the fire signs all the time. At the same time, Mulder already has a fire inside him so he doesn’t need Phoebe in his life because he will get burn over and over again. Just some trivia there somewhere.

Mulder has an unhealthy *lovemap. Thank God he met Scully because she set it right. She became his friend, his family and more. Scully also became the person who calmed down the fire in him, so Scully serves as one of the best things that happened to him.

Dana Scully has a somewhat unhealthy *lovemap based from her upbringing and her relationships with her parents. While I don’t remember much Scully’s dating lists. Scully is an analytical, practical, rational and sensible person in the show. She is the voice of reason in Mulder’s head. So when she met Mulder, he somehow set her lovemap in the right direction.

Scully was supposed to be dating someone in the Pilot episode, which was also never aired, but the guy is supposed to be working for the FBI as well.

Jack Willis is Scully’s FBI instructor. She got involved with him, after dating for a year, but broke up eventually. Unfortunately, it does not say much about Jack’s character. So this does not really count as something healthy.

Dr. Daniel Waterson is Scully’s former Professor. She had an affair with him and left him after she was recruited by the FBI. I guess I don’t have to explain more why it makes her *lovemap unhealthy at somepoint. One of the questions you’ll have in your mind, what’s a sensible woman doing in a forbidden love affair. There seems to be a pattern here, the fact that she got involved with older guys, but that does not make it unhealthy.

Ed Jerse is a guy she met on the episode, Never Again. It is an episode where Gillian Anderson asked the writers to write a darker side of Scully. It is in the episode where she got her Ouroboros tattoo on the small of her back. Scully strike up a conversation at a tattoo parlor where he invited her to dinner which at first she declined, but after an irritating conversation with Mulder, she went out with Jerse and stayed at her apartment, where he kissed her.

Phillip Padgett is an author experiencing some writer’s block. He is also Mulder’s neighbor. He is someone Scully did not really get involve with, but this case affected Scully in a weird, mysterious and scary way. Well, what can you expect it’s X-Files. He appeared to Scully as an admirer, he watched her from afar, and he even sent her a Milagro pendant. Padgett lured Scully to his apartment. I can’t forget the time where Phillip told her that she came to his apartment because she was curious about him so he invited her to come in and she did. Scully was somehow in a trance while she was with him and she almost slept with him until Mulder saved Scully from him.

It is somehow hard to write about lovemap considering the mysterious factors added to the show, but you will know what I’m talking about Mulder and Scully’s relationship, once you watch a couple of episodes or so.

The relationship Mulder and Scully have is ideal for me because their relationship has a good foundation of friendship. As audiences, we witnessed how they became friends, what they’ve gone through, how they became best of friends, and how they fell in love for each other. It wasn’t forced, it happened naturally. Mulder and Scully belong together because of all the factors that affect their relationship, and not just because they are best friends. Just like Gillian Anderson quoted below:

Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with. – Dana Scully, Rain King

They are not like those couples who are targetting each other as lovers because they are best friends. I have nothing against those couples ending up together because they are best friends. I’m against those who are forcing themselves on their best friends, just so they could have the happy ending they’ve seen in those copped out movies. It’s like scriptwriters are thinking let’s make the characters best friends, so that audiences will root for them to end up together. It’s bad enough when you notice how forced it is when the characters are pretending to have chemistry or to be in love with each other, it’s such a turn-off.

Anyway, on top of having the characters great chemistry, it doesn’t hurt that the actors who played also have a great friendship that as fans we can’t stop watching. Before, I actually told myself that I’m going to write this analysis maybe next year or so and I only plan to write this analysis of relationships when series are complete. But since X-Files is going to have a new installment on January 2016 (Yey!), I have to write this now.

To be honest, I don’t know what I’m going to see on the episodes and I’m afraid that the show will because it’s too old, it may be irrelevant to other audiences, and last but not the least it may air episodes similarly written with shows airing these days. I also think that maybe Fox is using the show the show to gain something I’ll ignore it. And besides, I have faith on the actors, Chris Carter and the other staff who will work on X-Files again.

*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK. For those of you who’ve never seen the show, but you’re interested in finding out the love story, click here and scroll down to Route 3: The Shipping News.