The Three People We Will Fall In Love With For A Reason

Some time seven years ago, my best friend showed me something that talks about The Three People You Will Meet in Life. This was theorized by human behavior experts.

About a few days ago, I encountered something almost the same, but it was called and described differently. It was We Only Fall In Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime – For A Specific Reason. Now this one came from philosophers.

First person, is your first true love. It is also called the idealistic love. You view love as black and white, no gray areas. It relies on how you see love is, but not so much on how you feel. This is where you will experience love the first time and be clueless about it. Which is why it’s not going to work out.

 

Second person, is the one you love the most. It is also called the hard love. This is where you learn about the gray areas.

It is also the most important experience anyone can’t miss because it’s the coming of age romance. It doesn’t matter what your age is, but this is where things get real.

The guy you will meet, will mark a before and after in your life. He will revolutionized your world in a second and teach you to see and feel things differently. This relationship creates resonance that triggers transformation in your life.

He will make you see your strengths and weaknesses, your flaws, imperfections, eccentricities and most important of all your talents and capabilities. You will believe your destined to be together, but this guy is not for you.

He is just an angel passing by you.

Just as Lang Leav said, “You may grow to love this person, but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn‘t to save you, but to show you how to save yourself.” – Angels

Third person, is the right one for you. He’s not the one you love the most, and he’s not the one who loves you the most. He is the one who happens to be at the right place, circumstances and time.

I call this third person, the right love. You will find each other when you least expect it. You will connect as a surprise and you’ll both know that you two just fit.

You will have just the right combination of personality and, strengths and weaknesses. Your similarities and differences,  will complement each other naturally.

It’s as if your soul just know and recognize each other. The moment you found each other, things just fall into place.

I know that the second person, sounds more appealing, but when you meet the third person, you’ll know and feel why it never work out with the second person.

You might think that you might love the second person more than the third person. But you see the love you will have for the third person will grow in time. 

That love will grow as the trust, intimacy, familiarity, the more you get along, the deeper your connection will get, you will both revolutionize each other’s world, and that love will transform both of you. It will both give you resonance that will awaken you, enliven, and resonance that will bring you home. 

The love you’ll have with the third person is just the right amount of companionate love, and passionate love, for it to become an eternal love.

Here comes the tricky part.

The supposedly three people is sometimes three different people, but sometimes they could be one person.  Sometimes the first and second person, could be one person. And sometimes the second and third person is the same. Because some people meet again after so many years.

This is one of the things that we have in real life that TV shows, and some movies fail to show.

What we see on onscreen is all about chemistry and maybe compatibility. Some writers forget about complementing the right combination of opposite attracts and similarities and more.

Another predicament here is some people gets stuck on the second person. It’s because they really thought they’re meant for each other.

It’s only until they realized their pattern of dating people will they ever get to the third person.

 

How I Pursued Psych On My Own

Wondering how I started studying Psychology, somehow amazes me and I also find it unbelievable.

I have a long way to go, but somehow, I’ve come so far.

My fascination with Psychopaths started in my Sophomore year after seeing a documentary about them. Then again, I always enjoyed watching Thriller movies with serial killers. While I am fascinated by them, I stand 50/50 on whether I want to meet one, and the other 50 is I want to study them.

So I started studying them and watching everything with them, and plan to buy every novel with characters like them.

I have encyclopedias at home, from where I got my first read about Psychology.  They delved on child development. A topic I visited twice in college as a nurse, and I borrowed in several  library Psychology and Psychiatry books.

One very important and memorable time of my life is when I’m in my Aunt’s house. We were in her room. I was at the top of the double deck bed and she was below. She asked me, what I wanted to take in College. And I told her loud and clear that I wanted to become a Psychologist. She just told me she doesn’t want me to take care of mentally ill people. I shouldn’t have listened to her and just pursued what I love and wanted instead.

Then I got into college, we have a Psychology a lot.

Of course, we also have Sociology and Anthropology subjects, different forms of Psychology.

 

For the last 16 years these are ome of the books I read regarding them.

I bought most of them in book sales and some of them from National Bookstore, Fully Booked, Powerbooks, and Amazon, the electronic books I have.

The first 2 were from my bestfriend in College, the mind control method is something I bought in highschool.

There’s my books in College below. My Psychology book was borrowed.

The Beauty Killer novels by Chelsea Cain are one of my favorites.

Of course, we know that Mulder is a popular or known Oxford Psychologist. My fascination in studying profiling and psychology also came from him.

My interest in Profiling was also influenced by Criminal Minds.

I know the novel Psychopath doesn’t belong with the group, but somehow it fits. Because I first heard about Lovemap from this novel. I learned several psych insights from this novel that I bought and search the other novels by Keith Ablow, a forensic psychiatrist.

From some of the books I borrowed in our library, below is an example of some topics I photocopied for studying.

This is from the book, Psychiaty Case Files. There’s another example of that picture below.

Today is my birthday. And instead of celebrating my birthday. I want to celebrate what I love instead, which is to become a Psychologist.

That’s not all cause it doesn’t include all the books I borrowed in our library and the electronic books I bought in Amazon and from Scribd.

Significance of Commitment

What does it mean to be committed in a romantic relationship?

There are many definitions for commitment and below is one.

A Committed Relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon a mutually agreed-upon commitment to one another involving exclusivity, love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other agreed-upon behavior.

I want to emphasize the words:

Exclusivity

Love is an emotion, a feeling. But when it comes to commitment it is a choice. A choice on who to settle with, who to spend the rest of your life with.

Trust

Honesty in Commitment is being transparent with each other. A matter of self disclosure, but it depends on the couple and it depends on the type of relationship.

Openness to each other is being able to listen, accept, and respect each other’s differing opinions, point of view, and eccentricity.

Behavior Agreed On – In a relationship, there are certain behaviors or attitudes we won’t agree or tolerate. We won’t change their personality, but just like in raising a child, we ignore or discourage the wrongful actions, and we award or acknowledge the right ones.

Commitment means differently with couples who are dating, being in a relationship, engaged, married, and are living together.

1. Dating – You can be exclusive or you are both free to see other people. At this time, the couple is just getting to know each other and are adjusting to each other’s differences, and similarities. The tolerance is very high because it’s new and there’s a flood of endorphins that makes us happy, and serotonin that makes us think of them all the time. Until those chemicals are replaced by attachment and bonding hormones.

2. Being in a relationship – It depends on the type of relationship you have. In this relationship the couple involved have personal and emotional intimacy, friendship, and familiarity, and the commitment to each other or more. It’s a case to case basis because the arrangement depends on the couple.

3. Engaged – Promised to be married in a later or future date. The couple here had dated for years and are now ready to spend their lives together under the same roof. The relationship is exclusive and he or she should not see or date anyone else.

4. Married – The couple at this point had compromised some things in their life to make the relationship work and keep it. The couple is now ready to take the next level which is to start a new family, provided they are already financially established, and both can now provide for their future children.

5. Common Law Marriage – Also known as couples who had lived together. Apparently there are two kinds of couples here. They have the same benefits of a marriage couple, but some couples are living together but have a different type or arrangement in a relationship.

a) Couple who are just trying if a relationship between each other will work for them.

b) Couple are ready to take the next level, but have decided to wait to save money.

Before making a commitment, a couple needs to know what is a commitment and what it is to them. Because along those commitment are choices that they are willing to make, to make the commitment, and to keep it for a long time.

You also need to define the commitment.

Are you just curious to be in a relationship?

Is it Casual?

Are you committed?

You also need to ask yourself.

Is he capable of giving you what you want in a relationship?

Is he the person you want to get involve with or be with for the rest of your life?

Do you share similar expectations for the relationship? same future goals? 

Are you currently involved with someone who has the potential to be a healthy partner?

When a person can’t commit, it could be because:

• He is not ready to be committed

He hasn’t found the person he can see himself with for a long time

His fear of commitment or his problem comitting might come from a bad experience or from his parents and/ or upbringing

In a relationship there are two definitions of commitment that are important and helps in making a couple make the commitment and keep it. Your definition and his definition. If that definition doesn’t match, then there’s going to be a problem.

If a couple makes a commitment, they are sacrificing something, but are also gaining something.

You will both promise to do everything in your power to make it work and not just end up like the other couples on TV who cheated, who got divorced or annulled.

I have nothing against them, getting divorced or annulled, but when you have a relationship, they should never be an option when you get married.

A couple before getting into a serious relationship or in a committed relationship, they should consider that you will both undergo changes in life and you can bet that both of you will grow and mature, but you can also change for the worst. The couple needs to be ready for those changes, and to battle the problems together that will come along the way. You don’t fix that by texting or calling. Do that face to face to prevent more misunderstandings.

Those unmatched qualities or differences that attracted you in the beginning of your relationship can also be the reason for both of you to push each other to change or mold them into someone you want or imagined them to be. That is a big No-no.  That is why from the start, you don’t get married because you are meant to be, because you have chemistry, but because the qualities and personalities you have is a right balance of like attract likes and opposite qualities. You get married because they make you feel complete. You get married because you want to see yourself with them after so many years.

Their set of qualities, differences, and personality, balances or completes your set of qualities, differences, and personality.

In a commitment, you trust each other to be loyal, faithful, honest, and to both work hard on making and keeping the commitment last.

Furthermore, communication plays a big role in commitments. You need to communicate the definition or status of your relationship, and where and what is your take in your relationship and commitment with him.

If everything is clear between the two of you, then heartaches, disappointments, wasted feelings, and wasted time can be prevented.

 

A couple is expected to build a mature relationship through commitment. If you can’t commit, you shouldn’t be in a relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

A committed relationship is:

 

A relationship is about your commitment to each other, while you consider each other’s welfare.

See some more quotes about relationship commitment below:

 

 

  

 

 

Relationship Analysis: Brown Sugar

Brown Sugar  is a 2002 American romantic comedy film written by Michael Elliott and Rick Famuyiwa, directed by Famuyiwa, and starring Taye Diggs and Sanaa Lathan. The film is a story of a lifelong friends, A&R Andre and Editor-in-Chief Sidney.
 The movie started with the question, When did you fall in love with Hip-Hop? At first, I didn’t know the significance of that question, until I got to the end of the movie.

It’s not the just the story of how Hip-Hop started and evolved, but it’s also a story about how love grew between two people.

 

Young Dre and Sid

The two can attribute their friendship and the launch of their careers to a single, seminal childhood moment – the day they discovered hip-hop on a New York street corner. Now some 15 years later, as they lay down the tracks toward their futures, hip-hop isn’t the only thing that keeps them coming back to that moment on the corner.

Sidney Shaw fell in love with Hip-Hop and later became a music journalist and a successful editor for the XXL  magazine. She is smart, caring, strong, stubborn, hardworking, sensible, mature, clever, and passionate at what she does. In the movie, Sid served as the voice of reason, although she had her moments of being lost and confused, and when she slept with Dre. At least she made the right decision to ask for some space to think, and figure things out.She is played  by actress, Sanaa Lathan.

Dre Ellis fell in love with Hip-Hop and later became a successful music executive. He is caring, fun, smart, stubborn, hardworking, charming, childish, and a player. In the movie, Dre is a bit messed up for me. He slept with Sid after finding out his wife cheated on him. It was hot, but I don’t consider it as the ultimate consummation of their love for each other. It was just wrong for me. He is played by actor and singer Taye Diggs.

For years, I binge on watching movies about best friends ending up together, but as I grew up, I realized that it’s bullsh*t to push the idea to people. Some writers, producers, and directors don’t understand the process of true love and relationships because if they do, they wouldn’t have done the particular movie theme. It doesn’t mean I’m not a fan of the idea, but I do believe that some best friends are meant to be together. And Brown Sugar is one of the movies, that is realistic and true.

They are not affected by the Westermarck Effect. 

Why? 

Because they had come to like each other first/ fell in love with each other first before they even became friends. 

In the Westermarck Effect, men and women who grew up together in a close proximity have reached a certain level of intimacy and familiarity that prevents them from falling in love. 

What’s great about Dre and Sid is that they fell in love with each other, the day they also fell in love with hip hop. I always consider the first meeting to be important. I’m glad that they included it in the movie and they showed how important it was.

Dre getting engaged with Reese was the trigger of Sid’s secret feelings to come out, and it somehow also triggered Dre’s when they kissed the night before he got married. At first they tried to live their lives like before, but it didn’t work out because of the closeness they have and when Dre quit his job and told Sid first before his wife, Reese.

This is where I relate the quote of Antoine de Saint-Exupery below.

In the movie, Dre and Sid grew up keeping the same direction which is hip hop. They may have different careers, but their careers still involves hip-hop. It’s the factor that held them close to each other including the other factors that they grew up together, and they’re great friends.

Their chemistry in the movie started with Activity chemistry, when they discovered and fell in love with hip-hop when they were ten years old. As a person, we love to spend time with people who has the same interests with us, and the one who shares a hobby, and/or a passion with us.

Due to the 15 years of friendship between them, it made them very familiar of each other. In the movie, I saw the frequent times, Dre went to Sid, despite being married. When it comes to relationship, when the attachment had formed, we want to stick with them. And here, we can see that Dre is glued to Sid despite being married.

As for their Personality and Compatibility, Sid and Dre has compatible personalities, lifestyle, and careers. They are a team. He writes, creates, and/or produces music, and she writes a review about it. Dre is the thinker and the doer. Sid is also a thinker, a doer, and a supporter. She’s the voice of reason and support to Dre. And Dre also supports and believes in her.

As for the Principle of Completion, Sid gave Dre his key feeling. She supported him in everything as shown on the scene when he told her that he’s going to make his own record label and she became a financial source to him. She told him, “Look, you’re my best friend. There’s nobody who believes in you more than me.” She helped him make his dreams come true, contrary to what his wife did. His wife, Reese, doesn’t know better and she just treated his dream as a hobby.

At the same time, Dre also gave Sid her key feeling to feel complete. He appreciates her as a person, as a friend, and especially her skills as a writer, as an editor, and as a music journalist. He still remembers her first article, and he reads her column on the L.A. Times religiously, because it makes him feel closer to her. Compared to Kelby, her fiance, who only read the article she wrote about him. Sure, I’ll give him some break and consider that he did promised to read all her work, he takes care of her, he cooks for her, and he’s trying to accept Sid’s friendship with Dre. 

The problem is Sid is not just committed to him, the way she’s committed to Dre and his dreams and to her work. Her relationship with Kelby is a relationship that’s bound to end from the start.

Another good thing going on between them is their Intimacy. Sid and Dre already have emotional intimacy because of their 15 years of friendship. And that intimacy equates to the level of familiarity the characters have. That familiarity provided the characters a comfort blanket that made them stick to each other. 

As for Dre and Sid’s Lovemap, I will compare it to the research John Money, Emeritus Psychologist and Sexologist, had done years ago with kids. He conducted a research with kids ages from 8 to 11 years old. It is where he showed them pictures of other kids and made them choose. Then several years later, he got back to them and discovered that majority of them were married to the person who’s got a similarity to the person they chose from the pictures.

That research also applied to Sid and Dre. The only difference is they grew up together. They molded each other’s lovemap as they grew up. They both love hip-hop which served as a glue to their friendship and which led them to fall in love with each other. As time goes by, that friendship and love became deeper and more mature. And when that happened, that’s where romantic chemistry and sexual chemistry set in.

In the movie, Sid finished her book and called it “I Used To Love Him“, she described it as her love letter to hip-hop.

Her final words in her book.

I always thought, one day I would outgrow my relationship with hip-hop. 

I never thought it was a fad, like many.

But I never thought it could grow and mature.

I thought it would be an adolescent memory I’d look back on, like a crush on the captain of the football team.
But I realize we have more than that. Much more. 

We have a history…a friendship.
We listen to each other.
We laugh together.
We finish each other’s lyrics.
I don’t have to pretend with hip-hop, and hip-hop doesn’t have to pretend with me.

My feelings have never been more clear, and I know they will never go away.
To Hip-hop.

Just like any best friends who crossed the line of friendship to love, their is a bump and that’s the fear that the relationship might not work, and they might lose the friendship. Which is what happened to Sid. So in the last scene, after some time had passed,  it was finally revealed to everyone that Hip-hop is Dre to Sid. She said.

During Sid’s interview in Hot 97, Dre called and asked her the question back, “When did you fall in love with Hip-Hop?” She finally told him the truth and he told her.

“Sidney… I have loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you.
And I love you still. You’re my air.
So, I don’t want to be your friend no more.”

This is the first time where Sid and Dre told each other that they’ve been in love with each other for a long time after everything that happened between them. It’s doesn’t exactly follow the process or stages of love I wrote about, but it is realistic. After all, love doesn’t care if it’s proper or right, it just wants to exist. And that’s why we all have brains to make the right decision and not just follow our heart all time. Because our emotions, when it comes to love, relationships, and decision making, it can also be governed by being lost, confusion, stress, lust, and more.

What I can say with the script is it was clever. I love the research they made. How they wrote the love story, and include hip-hop in it. It’s probably a very simple story, but it’s the kind of movie every in loved best friends should watch. It’s the kind of movie, you’d want to watch and get that good feeling in the end, also the really good and thrilling feeling of falling in love. The theme of the movie is subtle, the script wasn’t preachy, the scenes, and the chemistry of the actors are not forced. It is a movie, that will make you laugh, cry, fall in love, and feel the thrill for almost two hours.

Relationship Analysis: Best Of Me

~ S  P  O  I  L  E  R    A  L  E  R  T ~

The Best of Me is an American romantic drama film directed byMichael Hoffman and written by Will Fetters and J. Mills Goodloe, based on Nicholas Sparks’ 2011 novel of the same name. The film stars James Marsden and Michelle Monaghan with Luke Bracey and Liana Liberato.

First, I just need to get this out of my system. What is it with tragic love stories and stars?

I promised you last week that I’m going to write about a movie with a happy ending. Because I’ll admit that I still can’t move on from Tauriel and Kili’s love story. I’m at least glad that there’s closure for both characters in the Best Of Me.

I always love Nicholas Sparks works ever since I read The Wedding. That’s the story that made me buy and read his work, but he broke my heart when he wrote Dear John and I was/ am also brokenhearted so I stayed away from love stories for a while.

When I saw the Best Of Me novels, I was excited to read it and watch it. Another reason I love Best of Me is because I’ve always loved Liana Liberato and Michelle Monaghan.

The reason I chose it because I’ve always thought it was a happy ending and I’m having a really hard time writing an analysis for the movie I chose for this week.

My analysis for the story is somehow split because I love the chemistry of the adult actors, but I wasn’t feeling it between the younger actors, but it was nice seeing the flashbacks. It gave me insights on their relationship.

In the movie, Amanda is the one with an outgoing, straightforward, kind, and bubbly personality. She’s also determined and passionate for children since she plans to major in child psychology and public policy.

While Dawson is shy, doesn’t know how to talk or flirt with a girl, respectful, hardworking, studious, introverted, passive, abusive upbringing,  and he likes the stars. He shared his interest in the stars when he said that humans have always looked up to the stars for consulting and that he made his own telescope.

With those descriptions between two characters, you can sense right away that they have chemistry. They are a complete opposite of each other and that’s what’s pulling their characters together.

My favorite scene here is when they were talking as adults and Amanda said that it’s dangerous for them then she complained how he didn’t get ugly or something. It was great. I can’t ignore the sizzling tension between the characters.

Friendship, intimacy, and security somehow go hand in hand between Amanda and Dawson because they were able to share parts of their lives right away with each other. On the part where she confronted him for making her wait, showing her his bruises, and getting to know each other in the water tank.

As for love, as time goes by, the friendship grew into something more.

When Dawson got shot, I was shocked, but what made me cry is when he fell, and the last thing he saw were the stars.

It reminded me of their last goodbye ever since their reunion.

One of the things he said:

“I’m gonna trust in the stars,” He said that because he considered their reunion as a second chance for them to fix the things they’ve left behind. It provided closure for both them and declaration of love after all these years. It’s my second favorite scene.

In fact, he was hoping that the universe will realign the stars for them and things will fall into place for them. And when he closed his eyes, he saw Amanda in the garden in Tuck’s house.

In the movie, I don’t remember where Dawson’s mom is, but that’s how lovemap came into play in his life. Somehow Amanda also took cared of him the way a mom should. As for Amanda, she has a privileged upbringing, but when Dawson came into her life, just by existing, he made the best version of herself.

This is an incredible movie because at the same time, they also tried to establish how the characters Amanda and Dawson were fated to each other.

• First is when they were younger. Amanda asked Tuck if he believes in fate or destiny. Instead, he shared a part of his love story with his wife which says that he believed in coincidences and faith. At that time, Dawson refused to believe any of it.
• When Dawson had an accident where the explosion threw him in the water, he dreamed of Amanda then after waking up, he got a call about Tuck. That’s what made him believe that somehow it led him to find her again.
• Due to the hardships and loneliness, Amanda experienced, she became scared and believed that fate and destiny are not real.
• And when he died, yes, he saw the stars. He closed his eyes, and he saw his dream again in the hospital. And that scene where everything made sense.

I truly believe that there’s an endless love, but unfortunately, it’s not just for the characters somehow. Even if Dawson died, a part of Dawson will somehow always be with Amanda.

It’s still a great movie, with a very interesting twist and I still recommend it.

*Thus marked words are defined on this LINK.

What is Chemistry?

Chemistry, some have it instantaneously with someone and some doesn’t.

All these years, I can recall all the guys I liked or had fallen for. There were six of them, the four were schoolmates, but among them the last two stood out. They were the ones whom I felt a strong chemistry with. Surprisingly, the last person was the most unlikely I’ll ever like or love. Why? He’s basically the complete opposite of my preferences.

So why did I feel that way towards him?

In fact, out of the last two, my feelings for him were more intense and stronger especially after he talked to me. My feelings for him were the hardest to remove because of the chemistry. There are eight types of chemistry and I’m pretty sure I felt the four.

1. Intellectual Chemistry

The first time I saw him, the idea of him, his work and his writing invigorated me. I just wanted to get to know him! We talked and I thought, it was nice of him to take people like me seriously.

2. Emotional Chemistry

I got to know him a little better and his story became an inspiration to me and his passion in reaching his dreams, somehow served as a catalyst. He gave my life a 180-degree turn for the better.

3. Sexual Chemistry

The guys I like are usually clean-shaven, with a tall, lanky frame and they don’t have tattoos, but he’s not clean-shaven, has a huge, hunk-like built or maybe I’m just too small for him, and he’s got tons of tattoos. My preferences disappeared, and I stopped believing that people have types. It also led me to start researching why people fall for a certain person or feel chemistry and how it happens.

4. Empowerment Chemistry

When I encountered him online, I never thought I would fall for him and I never thought I’ll get to this: How I am now as a person. This is the last, but it’s the most important of all. Because of Dave’s life story, I felt empowered to pursue my dreams, to be comfortable with my own skin, to never give up, to make my dreams happen, and his existence in my life, made me mature more as a human being. Dave was a hell of a ride, but it’s all worth it because of the things I gained as a person.

For more chemistry types, check this LINK.

First, let’s define it.

Chemistry for me is chemicals in our body that results in feelings of desire, excitement, and danger towards the person. You’ll always remember it, the sudden rush of joy the first time you met or saw him, to some, it’s the first touch and the first kiss. You can’t just get enough of it. According to Elizabeth Baldwin, it is the “igniter and catalyst of a relationship“. Luckily, chemistry happens unconsciously, and spontaneously, anyone can create it.

So how do you create chemistry with anyone you like?

1. Be down-to-earth and sincere

According to Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., “if a person is comfortable with themselves, they are better able to express their true self to the world which makes it better to get to know them, even if perspectives differed”.

2. Use the 4Ws and H (What, When, Where, Why and How)

Determine the person’s interests or things you have in common and talk about it. Remember: Don’t ask questions that are answerable by Yes or No. Don’t talk too much. It should be two-sided. Don’t share too much information right away. Keep it exciting by preserving the element of mystery.

3. Mirror-Image

One of the easiest ways to tell if someone like you is through body language when a man is attracted to you, his body is facing towards you. Mirror-Image creates sexual magnetism. In creating a mirror-image, do it as subtle as you could to the point of being accidental. Notice couples on outdoors some are positioned in a mirror-image. According to Nicholas Boothman, Speaker and Author of How to Make Someone Like You in 90 seconds or less and How to Make Someone Fall In Love With you in 90 minutes or less, synchronizing body movements creates Chemistry.

    

4. Find similar experience

Similar experience lets you connect in a deeper level and get to know and understand each other better. When you disclose personal information, remember to sparingly share very serious or personal stuff right away. Balance the information you give.

Chemistry is not just for couples and you can have it with friends, family, and colleagues.

Unfortunately, According to Helen Fisher, Anthropologist and author of Why We Love and Why Him, Why Her, chemicals responsible for love (dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin) is replaced by different chemicals (Oxytocin, bonding hormone, and vasopressin) responsible for feelings of attachment after two years.

At this stage, it puts the couple in a calm state. The urge to mate and reproduce is replaced by feelings of togetherness and attachment to raise their offspring. So if you want to keep the chemistry going, go back to step number one.

It takes practice to make it second nature, so do it with people around you. It improves skills in creating rapport with anyone and it can lead to relationships: Friendship, Romantic Relationship, or Camaraderie with friends or colleagues.

Below is the science of falling in love, check it out.

Relationship Analysis: Love’s Kitchen

Love’s Kitchen is about Rob Haley (Dougray Scott), an up-and-coming chef and restaurateur in London, is grief-stricken when he loses his wife. With encouragement from his infamous friend and real life TV Chef Gordon Ramsay, Rob decides to spice up his life by turning a run-down country pub into a gourmet restaurant. His food catches the eye – and taste buds – of beautiful American food critic, Kate Templeton (Claire Forlani) and they soon both write a recipe for love that leaves both their hearts – and their stomachs – full.

How did the characters meet?

Rob met Kate when he went to The Boot to inquire the owner if the place is still free.Kate is a food critic and a regular visitor of the place and she told the owner he shouldn’t sell it.

Apparently, Rob has a strong dislike to food critics due to his previous experience before. So he immediately acted like a wounded jerk to her the moment they met.

How the characters in the movie are attracted to each other?

When Rob officially opened The Boot, an incident led Kate and Rob to start a deal that led to a friendship and something more.

The attraction wasn’t apparent when they first met, the second time they encountered each other, that’s when they became friends and slowly got to know each other.

Is it *love at first sight or just *lust at first sight?

In the movie, it is not love at first sight or even lust because Rob is still hung up on his dead wife while Kate didn’t really showed interest in him.

The way they see each other only changed when they started the deal and when Kate tasted the meals he made the second time around and his special trifle.

Was there chemistry between the couple?

What’s great about this couple for me is that their chemistry is a good balance between *intellectual, *sexual and *romantic chemistry.

Intellectual because they connected through food.

Romantic and sexual chemistry started to develop as Kate spends more time with him and his daughter, Michelle.

If you read my relationship analysis posts all the time, you’ll notice that I didn’t go very specific with them.

Why?

When people are faking and forcing chemistry on screen, you can get very specific on how the couple tried to act like they have chemistry.

But the chemistry here is so real and natural, it’s sexy subtle. Throw in a little trivia here, I’m probably wrong, but the main actors playing Rob (Dougray Scott) and Kate (Claire Forlani) is married in real life. I don’t know the whole story so if you’re curious, you can tell me about it.

What is the man’s *lovemap? Is it healthy or not?

The man’s lovemap became unhealthy after his wife died. He refuses to take risks in life. Aside from his wife’s accident, he’s deeply traumatized by the critic, he got that at first he refuses to take a risk on The Boot and getting publicity for The Boot.

It was Kate who had changed things around him. She somehow influenced him to take risks and to resolve his issue with food critics.

My favorite dialog from him to Kate are:

You’ve got to take risks once in a while.

You reminded me of who I was and who I’m supposed to be and what I could be.

Everything has changed because of you.

What is the woman’s *lovemap? Is it healthy or not?

Kate has a healthy lovemap because she is sensible, straightforward, mature, independent, responsible, dominant, proper, does the right thing and has a great sense of humor. Well, you might notice that I’m praising Kate so much, but she’s not perfect. She wasn’t brave enough to confess to Rob that she gave him a bad review years ago.

The movie didn’t focus much on Kate, but if you watch her character. She is so well put together. Yes, she is also sarcastic at some point, which sometimes I find charming and annoying in some parts of the movie.

The great thing about her is she influenced Rob in a big way and even her father. I love her conversation with her Dad when she told him that not everything is about him and how he had hurt her when he fooled around for a while.

Does the relationship contribute to the growth of each person in the relationship?

I’d say, Kate’s personality contributes a lot to Rob’s personality. In fact, in the movie, she may responsible for his failure, but it’s also her who did him a lot of favor.

Do the personalities balance each other, complete each other, or makes them a good team?

Yes. Rob is an introvert while Kate is the opposite. Kate is mature, responsible and a risk taker, but Rob sometimes needs a push to do things.

As for Kate, Rob can tone her impulsiveness and her quick judgment at times.

Are they capable of maintaining a long-lasting relationship?

As long as Rob will stop acting like a bloody fool, a wounded failure, and a jerk. And as long as Kate will have a patience for him and continue giving him stability by being the traits I mentioned above then they will be fine.

Why the relationship will work and last longer? Why not?

The relationship will last because they are both open and straight to each other when it comes to their thoughts,  opinions, and actions.

Well, if Rob acts like an immature, wounded failure and by bringing up the past, and if Kate loses her patience over him, then the relationship won’t even work.

If you’re looking for a movie with foods that will feed your eyes and your taste, unfortunately, that’s not the focus of the movie, it’s the romance, personal growth, and healing. The movie has some bad reviews, but I don’t really care about them because what I care about is the quality of the relationships in movies. It’s a feel good movie with its own charm, funny moments and characters with some growing up lessons and second chances in love.

What’s the point of having a cool plot, explosions, and expensive movie budgets, if the developed characters and relationships are crappy and actors are wrong for the characters? Right?

*Thusly marked words are defined on this LINK.