Studying a song…

Years ago, when I agreed to study playing the piano, I was thinking that after learning, I can easily play the songs I love.

During those years, all songs I studied and practice are classical music, but that’s okay because my teacher told me that I’m really good in reading notes. I’m fast, but my weakness is adding dynamics, emphasis and feelings to the song.

It’s much easier to add dynamics, emphasis and feelings to a song when you’re singing and acting it, because I’m an emotional person, I tend to do it in front of the mirror since I was little girl up until I grew up and finally attended the musical theater workshop.

Now, I’m glad to say, that I’ve been training and singing in the choir again for a month now.

I realized that one of my foolish mistakes is that I can play any song I want easily, and I can sing it just like Vanessa Carlton, and Christina Perri does in her music. I was wrong. I’m very good when it comes to notes, but I’m a loser when it comes to playing chords. I suck at it. I’m confused, and frustrated than ever because I find it so hard to learn on my own. I just don’t know what to do.

There are only three songs I can play using chords and sing in the piano. Slow Dancing In A Burning RoomBalisong and The Hill. It’s still not good enough for me. Studying to play and sing those first two songs took me 4-6 hours and The Hill took me 2 weeks to finally get it. I have to learn them from a tutorial. Whenever I play and sing, you can hear the confusion and the hesitation in the music, and you can hear the shakiness in my voice. It makes me mad because my voice didn’t develop as far as I wanted it because I seemed to have wasted all my time on learning the piano and I’m not even getting what I want from it.Which is why my number one priority is singing. I think I gave the piano too much effort, time and energy as it is.

Our pianist in the choir right now didn’t study piano the way I did, he only studied the chords. I’m better in reading notes than he is, but so what if I’m better at that, he play whatever songs he love from love songs, church songs, and more. He doesn’t need a tutorial to play, he just reads the chords and play it.

I want to play songs I love using chords and sing them great, not just play classical songs. I used to feel good, that I can play classical songs, but now it doesn’t mean anything to me, cause I can’t even sing to it. Singing is what makes me happy.

Don’t want to end this blog in a sour note, instead I’ll just say that I am going to study this song. The songs spoke to me like it’s saying that it’s not too late to save a relationship. This song makes me feel sad and comforted. It also makes me miss my mom. She loves this movie. Seeing those Boov aliens dance with J-Lo, made me laugh so hard. You guys should watch it too, it’s funny and it’s great as a family movie.